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BD's first bday, and BM has skids

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Yup, you read that right. BD (skids half sister) will be turning one on Wed. Of course, BM has the skids that day due to the every other day ping pong schedule we are living under until this court thing gets resolved. We are also having a party for her with my family next weekend, when, yes BM also has the skids. Seeing as BM is psychotic and refuses to bend even for 15 minutes, the skids will miss BD's birthday and her party with my family. DH's family said "oh we'll just celebrate BD's birthday on Easter when we're all together". Please folks, don't all get excited at once.

First right of Refusal???? Question for you all

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Just wondering if you have any experience w/ this? DH and I have been in a 6 month battle over the placement schedule (we have 50/50) with BM. The GAL came up with a schedule that gives BM the skids always on her days off (she works 24hr shifts). DH also works a job that puts him away for at times days on end. This means that for the most part, I have been the primary parent/caregiver while DH is gone since I am a stay at home mom w/ BD1. The GAL stated that because BM's schedule was "more predictable" than DH's, DH would need to have the skids on days he works, as opposed to BM.

So much anger

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I've come to realize that the situation with skids/BM has left me with so much resentment and anger. Anger that DH brought chaos into our relationship and that chaos will follow us for life, while my "baggage" is nowhere near his (my exH and I didn't have kids and we split peacefully). Anger that skids are spoiled rotten and the world must revolve around them and their almighty schedule(per BM, court, inlaws etc) while BD(1) is eclipsed.

Get a load of this schedule

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So beginning April 1st we are on the new placement schedule recommended by the GAL. Though the court hasn't officially ruled yet, we have decided that since the skids (11 and 9) and GAL have stated they like this schedule, its just a matter of time before it becomes official. Our only consolation is that BM hates this more than we do, as now since skids are there opposite BM fiance's kids they will have no time w/o kids there. DH figures that if she hates it so much, let her spend the money to fight this.

I think DH is seeing the light

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In previous blog I mentioned that we had received a recommendation from the GAL that had a placement schedule (50/50) that bounced the skids back and forth between houses literally every other day and totally at random (this is due to the ever important work schedule of BM who can't possible take care of the skids on the day she works. Well come to find out that when skids met with GAL they essentially threw DH under the bus. Suddenly instead of wanting a week to week schedule like they had previously told us, they decided that this ridiculous schedule would be great.

If I'm expected to be the "Nanny".....

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Then I'll be charging both DH and BM for daycare (if it's legal). Well I've had some time to calm down since my last post when the GAL essentially stated that BM should be entitled to the skids always on her days off since I was available to watch the skids "anytime" that DH was gone for work. I've decided to channel my anger into a positive. I wrote our attorney an email immediately pointing out that under this assumption BM and SD were entitled to a dual income family while DH and I were not.

What a f****ing slap in the face

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I'm sitting here in tears full of rage while I'm reading the recommendation letter from the Guardian Ad Leitum. DH and I had requested that the court set a fixed placement schedule (we have 50/50) but the current schedule is 5 days with us, 4 with her, 5 with us etc. This has been solely based upon the fact that BM and her dumb*ss Fiancee both work 24 hr shifts as EMTs (they have to work the same shift to be together 24/7). So the GAL is recommending an every other day ping pong schedule one day here, one day there back and forth.

Your parents and the skids

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Just wondering what YOUR parents feelings/opinions etc about your skids are. My parents had serious (but valid) concerns about me getting involved with someone with two kids and the drama that would follow. Even after DH and I got married and had BD 10 months, my parents remained polite but distant with the skids. My parents have clearly stated that these are not their grandkids (as opposed to BD who they dote on).

SD stood up for me

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The longest hour of my life was yesterday when I get the phone call from DH that he's on his way home from work (he has an hour commute). I swear that hour took forever to pass. DH has had to work late the last three days. It's great because we could use the money, but since the skids are with us right now that means I am left at home to play Nanny while he's at work. SD11 and I have a great relationship, and other than the typical preteen stuff she is very helpful. SS9, however, is a nightmare. I've written in previous posts about his spoiled, manipulative behavior.

Are all boys like this or just SS? (need to vent)

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SS just turned a ripe old age of 9 last weekend. Unfortunately his behavior is more like a 3 year old. Forget helping with chores or taking any responsibility. He can't even handle basic tasks. He doesn't flush the toilet, never washes his hands, can barely tie his shoes, and would go days without brushing his teeth if not hounded. He lies about everything, even if we are standing right there watching him do it. He'll come out of the bathroom and we'll ask, "did you flush? Wash your hands?

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