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BelleTolls's Blog

Looking for Peace: Letter to biomom

BelleTolls's picture

I'm writing you a letter that you will never read, and that is okay, because I want you to know I'm writing this not out of anger or to point fingers at you, but to explain where I am at, not that you care, but maybe because if you could know, it would bring down the wall I know you have built so high up around you.

O/T: What do you think the difference between an abusive person and a sociopathic person is?

BelleTolls's picture

It's a question I've been trying to answer for quite a while.

Many good friends of mine and I have endured abuse by the hands of men (and for this purpose I'm using the pronoun "he" and the word "men," but obviously this does not only apply to one gender) and have studied the attributes associated with sociopathy in the attempt to discern if we were dealing with a man who was raised in a manner so dysfunctional as to create an abuser versus dealing with a man who could potentially be clinically diagnosed as sociopathic (or, perhaps, narcissistic).

Why I Went No-Contact with BM

BelleTolls's picture

When I first moved in with my husband, I thought his kids were...small people. I didn't (and still don't, by choice) have children, and I had no preconceived notions about what to expect from them.

They treated me just fine; the daughter (then 9) warmed up to me quickly, glad to have another "girl" in the house. The son (then 5) didn't treat me any way other than an entity who was kind to him and made jokes about the cat (which went over quite well).