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The life and times of SS15, kid is more messed up than anyone really knows.

bearcub25's picture

SS15 was sent to a high level psyche place/group home. The state basically stripped all of DSOs and BMs rights and took full custody. It really had to do more with BM than DSO. They told DSO if he wasn't working and could care for SS 24/7, he could've stayed with him. I won't allow it bc of the past when SS15 was in my home full time. He was deliberately trying to get me to kick DSO out so DSO could go back to was something BM put in the childs head. All this did, was send SS to juvie/group homes for 2.5 years now.

SS was out from Dec 22nd to beginning of May. He was sent back to a home bc a few incidents at BMs house. BM and DSO were told he would have a hearing middle of May and then SS could start EOW home visits. SS is 3 hours away from where we live.

So they go to court, sentence him for 9 months to a year at the home is at now. SS goes back to RTC and puts his fist through a window. DSO tells me no home visit bc of that and other things. SS was mouthing kids off. SS was jumped by a couple of boys and SS called one of them the N word. Then SS refused to go to school for a week.

He was supposed to have a visit this coming weekend. I asked DSO when he would know if the boy was coming. He just told me that BM was told, SS hid from the staff the past 2 days so this visit is cancelled.

The thing that really bugs me is the stuff DSO was saying before SS was sent this time. DSO would get the boy every weekend. The weekends were all about keeping SS school (big trigger), no chores, fishing, sleeping all day.
So DSO would say how much better SS is, and how he could keep SS now and the boy wouldn't get into trouble anymore or how SS said he wants to live with DSO now and doesn't want to live with BM on and on. I knew it was just a fantasy and this is DSOs favorite child. The boy knows if he behaves for 9 months, he would be completely done with the court stuff. The kid refuses to listen, refuses to talk to the therapists so they can help him, he just sits there and shuts down (I read all of the reports, which DSO doesn't read bc he doesn't want to face the truth).

What I think SS is doing? SS was at a local youth home. He was supposed to be out in 9 months, but bc of his behavior they extended it for 3 months. In those 3 months, he attacked the staff 3 times and that is just what I know about. He was too much for the group home to handle so they kicked him out, so SS thinks if he acts up enough (something his parents allowed all of his life) this place will kick him out also.

Thing is, they will kick him out and he will go to kiddie jail. Do not pass go and do not collect $200. This child will spend most of his life in jail. He is violent when he feels he hasn't gotten what he thinks he should have or if someone looks at him wrong.

I saw this in SS when he was 5. Any of you, that read all of this Bullshit, that have young skids that are willful, violent at an early age, this is what you have to look forward to in a few years.


BethAnne's picture

This is so sad. What a waste of a life and the chaos that he causes around him dragging all of those that are trying to help and that love him along too. Do you think that if things had been handled differently with him from a young age, it could have turned out different, or was he always destined to be so self destructive?

bearcub25's picture

Maybe I posted this as a warning for others who have skids where consequences and punishments do not work.

SS is a product of abuse, emotional by the BM. He is a product of DSOs lack of stepping up to the plate and putting BM in her place.

Run? Hell after 10 years, I'm almost done with the Step Bullshit. I can hang a few more years, but thanks.

bearcub25's picture

Sorry I never responded, storm knocked out my power.

I did post this bc I have seen some newer posters having the same issues with their skids. Unless an adult will step up and get the kids help or take control of the kid, that child will have a very messed up life.

SS doesn't care about anyone or anything. He has used this type of behavior all of his life bc everyone always gives in when he gets in a he is placated and rewarded for his bad behavior. These types of kids will not change or get it as they get older, they get more violent.

Monchichi's picture

bear I appreciate the post and I intend to keep pushing. This is why I won't give in. This is the motivation to push a little harder I needed, just to make it a few more days.

ChokinOnLemonz's picture

The problem is more so the shitty parenting than the kids in many cases. IMO. There is no guarantee of having an easy child.

Have you read The Explosive Child? It may be a little too late now but I believe reading that may help you and your husband frame this boys behavior better.