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bearcub25's picture

I have been a member for 11 years and 12 months LOL.   

Would I do it again?   No, I would never do it again.  If something happened to us or DSO, I would stay single and just date and have sex.

 

Comments

Ispofacto's picture

Agree.  100%.  Plus it seems like there are some really good toys on the market now.

 

Ispofacto's picture

get the one with the added dolphin

no dolphins were injured in the writing of this post

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

~snorty~

Stepdrama2020's picture

Over a decade on here! WOWZA.

I would never do it again. After my exDH and snot faced ex SD id rather live a life of celibacy than be in a marriage with a mini wife calling the shots. It sucks.

As lonely as I am NEVER crossing this path again. My boss had asked me out, yea wrong on every level, but the Biggest reason I said no wasnt because he was my boss. He is widowed with 3 adult kids, and two are DD's. Again becoming a nun seemed more appetizing. 

Cover1W's picture

I love my DH, really do, he's a good partner and supportive of me but lets me do my own thing. His people skills in the help area are not good (helllllooooo ADD - that's another biggie) UNLESS it involves anythng to do with SDs or his issues with BM.

NO I would not do it again. Zero kids. No marriage. Nada.

Last week DH overheard me say, "Eff me, i hate my life sometimes..." when I was overwhelmed and underheard (SDs) and PMSing. He was SHOCKED as he's never heard me say that. He got really serious and asked me if that was how I really felt. "No, but I do get overwhelmed for being the one who does things all. the. time. and it's tiring and I'm tired and don't want to talk to anyone. But I do love you."

bearcub25's picture

I do love DSO and we are compatible and he great about keeping his adults skids out of our lives day to day but I didn't realize how much I pushed myself for 6 years and there was 0, Zero, Nada rewards.

I read about so many jumping into remarrying or just having to marry someone with kids and I don't get it.  I'm happy living together.  Its been 15.5 years, we own things together but after losing my husband and having to bust ass to keep my home, I want to keep some things in my financial life seperate so I'm never in that position again.

advice.only2's picture

Yeah I have said that before and my DH gets personally offended...it's like it's not all about you honey! I have my own things I deal with that affect me, you just add to the stress lol.

caninelover's picture

I would not look for another relationship after SO...

Thumper's picture

Bearcub, I have been on here for a long time too. A few name changes along the way.

Would I marry my dh again ? Sure I would. One thing for sure, we would have done things very very very differently regarding bm early on.

 

 

bearcub25's picture

I remember so many of you but it seems we made it somewhat.  Yes, definitely do a lot different.

Nette5's picture

I've been a member for 13 years 3 months... 

My DH didn't let the kids control our marriage except for a short while, but it blew up in DH's face & never happened again. 

SS15-ish at the time was triangulating us & DH fell for it until SS pulled a disappearing act at the end of the school year on him & I was out of state. SS was not able to divide us again & I got a stronger marriage. 

We've lived through both SS & SD (plus my in-laws) disappearing for years, SS bringing his DD (SGD4) back & him leaving again (we still get to be part of SGD's life through her BM). SD left & we reestablished contact with her recently & that's been good. In-laws are still in the wind but we're fine with that. 

My marriage is now 19 years strong, BS18 is graduated & trying to find himself, we both have decent jobs... step life won't win in my house

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

I can't bring myself to want to get married this time around. I feel secure having the option to just walk away at any time. 

That being said if I ever end up dating again I would not get involved with anyone who still has kids who still live at home.  

agitated's picture

Same here! If I ever find myself single, I will remain by myself while casually dating. After dealing with an abusive ex and now my SD18 stb 19 issues, I do not want that aggravation in my life. 

SeeYouNever's picture

If I went back to being 18 knowing what I know now... I would break up with the guy I was dating at the time, and then find the guy I had a causal fling with my sophomore year of college who is now an astrophysicist and still sweet and adorable (and somehow single!).

But yeah, whenever I hear of a childless woman unsure about dating a guy with kid(s) I try to talk them out of it. 

For example a friend of ours has a daughter who is dating a guy who is separated as a kid and is a few years older than she is. She was not sure if she wanted to see him again because he didn't tell her that he was separated and had a kid until after they had gone on a couple dates. This is pretty much exactly what my husband did as well. Guys learn not to lead with the fact that they are separated or have children when in the online dating world. I guess they figure if they get you hooked you'll give them more of a chance once you find out. 

FinallySkidFree's picture

 I think I've been around 10-11 years? I come and go and changed names. Would I do it over again? No. Am I glad I stuck it out? Absolutely. DH and I are going strong - almost 21 years. Skids are grown and gone and we barely see or hear from them. I do wonder what will happen when CS ends for SD STB21 in 6 weeks, she hasn't been a part of our lives for a good 6-7 years. I can't help but wonder if when the money train ends, she will magically wanna be a part of her dad's life again. I'm cool with that as long as she stays away from me and my home. He can have a relationship with her OUTSIDE of our home. I won't give her the time of day. She's a shit starter and I can do without her stupid ass. I look back on those drama filled days and nights and am shocked that I made it thru.

CLove's picture

When I met DH I was a total mess, in an assortment of ways. Mentally, Financially - you name it! I was jobless, and still living with my ex who was abusing me. Was drinking a lot, in full party mode (at 45 its harder to manage...) and since I have no children, I was drifting aimlessly along with no thoughts to the future.

I'm 7 years in and looking back, things have improved for me and I know that DH is not perfect in many ways, but hes been a rock for me in many ways, also. I'm working full time at a job I love, Im financially able to save for retirement, am a homeowner at 53, my credit scores are good. I have my own credit cards now. Im planning trips and vacations.

They say you are a new person every 7 years...I can feel it... The only downside to being with DH is that Ive gained all the weight I had lost previously and now have to make some big life changes to get to that next step.

So - I would do it over again, but do it MUCH MUCH differently. That goes for my whole life though...