I have posted a blog here I believe 2 years ago in desperation and willing to go out. I never got the courage and the strength to do it. It amazes me how many women like me intelligent - finishing up my Ph.D degree, beautiful, funny and willing to live and laugh turn into depressed and deprived from happiness women only 3 and a half years after starting a relationship with a man with two different children from two different mothers. I fought a battle that I am tired of fighting .