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alwaysthemom's picture

Is it ok for a BM to spend all her money on herself and other kid and not Skids? My skids got $20 for Christmas from their BM and had to wait for that for a week. BM spent 2hrs with them the whole 2 week break. Seriously!! It happens every year to them. I can't stand to look at their sad faces. Breaks my heart. Sad I don't like that they have to deal with their selfish mother and then try to defend her actions. I understand money is tight but to lie about it to your kids when you can spend 100s of dollars for yourself.


rusticporch's picture

I would make up for it for them. My skids weren't even allowed a Christmas this year because biomom went Jehovah Witness a few weeks before Christmas so I made sure we are having a big Christmas celebration with lots of presents here when they come home Thursday. Those poor babies didn't so much as get a Merry Christmas that morning. I will make them forget all about it this week. Smile

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Ugh, I hate that kind of drama. We don't celebrate Christmas here either, but we certainly don't presume to tell other people what to do in their homes with their families, and my skids' BMs are their parents, too. I would never take it upon myself to tell them what holidays I felt they should or shouldn't celebrate. And not one of them has ever had a problem with our holiday schedule, either. I'm pretty sure they know how much good it would do them. lol.

Timetogiveup's picture

OMG...I had neighbors back east that BM converted to JW. The one kid was in my friend's class. The poor kid, when she was with BM she was not allowed to do the Pledge of Allegiance or take part in any hoilday or birthday activities in the classroom. When she was with BD, she was allowed to. My neighbor said this poor little girl was so screwed up from BM, the school contacted CPS. Guess what, DB was able to get sole for both the kids.

Timetogiveup's picture

No, it's no ok but it seem to be the norm for BM. Any cash and prizes awarded in the divorce are hers to spend on herself. CS is her paycheck, to spend on herself. Yes, it is normal for the kids to make excuses.

The sad thing is this doesn't only happen on the hoildays but all year long too. There was a time when BM asked DH for a $1500 loan because she had no money to buy food or pay her mortgage. For weeks before she asked for the money, when SS was returned to her house I made sure I sent him home with enough food until he returned. There were days he called up crying that there was nothing to eat in the house, BM ate what I sent home with him, so DH would deliver more food to her house. Mind you, she was getting $1,000 a month in CS and she just sold some land that what part of the divorce prizes for 38k. The week after DN gave her the $1,500 loan, we went to pick the kid up and she wasn't home. Her bank statement was on table, she had over 10k in her checking. She also left the packing list from on the table, she spent $135.87 (I'll never forget that amount) on sex toys. She also got herself a new laptop. BUT, she was sooooo broke she couldn't feed the kid.

I could write a book about the stunts BM pulled with money. Yes, she has given the boy $20 for Christmas and $5 for his don't even want to know what she gave the boyfriend.

mommyto6's picture

My DH had asked the lawyer if he could get an itemized statment for what BM spends with the CS. lol Obviously, that would never happen although it would be nice if BM's had to prove that all that CS is going to the CHILD, but she was always asking him for more money and even as far as wanting him to co-sign on a loan for her. We got the same thing this Christmas...she got SS the first half of Christmas, and we got him the second half. We asked him what all he got for Christmas already and he listed off the couple of things that everyone else got him-grandparents, neighbors, etc. I flat out asked him what his BM got him and he said that she was on a low budget this year and couldn't afford to buy him anything. Hmmmm...cause she's too busy paying lawyers to try to make it to where he never sees DH again then to buy her son Christmas gifts.

She ALWAYS used SS as a pawn and guilt trip to try to rope my DH in to giving more money. When her car was acting up, she said if you don't co-sign (she had terrible credit) for me then I could be driving down the road and the engine fall out of my car and then your son will die b/c you wouldn't help me get a new car. She got all the cash and prizes of the divorce as well. Another time, she had gotten way behind on her rent and wanted DH to give her more money to pay her rent every month. Mind you, the CS he was giving her for one kid would pay her full rent, but she valued getting her nails and hair done every week than keeping a roof over her head. And of course then, she said if you don't help me out, then SS is going to be homeless and we'll have to live in my car. Sooooo manipulating. Of course, my DH never fell for her tricks and wouldn't give her any extra money-he honestly didn't have what does she do...BM offers DH tips on how to better manage his own money. Um, his bills were paid and he wasn't asking HER for money. Sorry for going on...I'm fighting some animosity this morning Smile

alwaysthemom's picture

Thanks for all the comments. I knew there were people who understood. So glad BM gave custody to HB 4 years ago(they have lived with us for 6 years). If not we would worry all the time if they were being taken care of.