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SD turned 17 today...

agitated's picture

only one more year to go until the sweet age of 18! I have a very strong feeling that after she graduates in 10 months and goes to her mom's for the court ordered visitation, she will not return (her birthday is always during visitation). We have rules and expectations after graduation, but mom has zero. Hmmm...who will she choose to live with?

That is all. Have a great day!

Comments

Jcksjj's picture

Yayyy!  Congrats on the end  being near.

Capricorn63's picture

She is only going into her junior year.  CS ends at 18.  So she will turn 18 in Nov of her senior year, CS ends before she graduates and my SO will only have the youngest one for 3 remaining years.

Time is flying now that they are not coming to my house!!!!!  Cheers!

Thisisnotus's picture

wooohooo congrats!! Get super strict on her NOW and seal your fate that won't she return. YIPEE!!!

agitated's picture

We have been already! All 3 of the kids know that after graduation they have 6 months to either 1.) enroll in school FT & work PT and they can continue to live at home for free (with the exception of paying their own phone bill, car insurance, gas, etc.); 2.) enroll in school and live on-campus and come home on breaks if they want; OR 3.) Move out. There are NO exceptions to this rule and they know that.

advice.only2's picture

CONGRATULATIONS! The last year for me was the longest and hardest, but the best one. You finally have a light at the end of that looooooooooooong dark tunnel!

When Spawn turned 18 I blew up DH's phone and Fakebook with memes about finally being free. I didn't realize how elated I would be and I actually cried. I so wanted to send a HUGE F-U to Meth Mouth, but nothing I could come up with seemed big enough for all the years of hell I endured.

Petronella's picture

These birthdays are the best!!

CS goes to 19 here, SK turns 18 this November. And hey, today’s the 1st of the month! After today’s payment, that’s only 16 payments left! If SK moves out of BM’s house before then...CS would end even sooner! Fingers crossed!

Unless SK actually goes to school FT after 19 while still living with BM, which is sooo unlikely! The last regular school attendance was 4 years ago! 

Damn this topic makes me happy 

tog redux's picture

I'm in!  I think I'm handicapped by BM wanting SS to not launch, though. 

Petronella's picture

I’m not sure how invested BM here is in keeping her darlings close to her forever. The 20yo is still living there and there was some unhappiness when my DH stopped paying CS for a working adult. But not enough unhappiness for BM to actually kick the 20yo out. I have no idea how functional either of the SKs would be be if they moved out. They looove their mommy and are also obsessed with the family dog.

Thisisnotus's picture

Same here, *sigh*, but BM can deal with the non-launching.....it ain't gonna be me. I don't think BM will allow skids to go away to college anyway.......SD16 is a junior in high school and BM won't even allow her to get a drivers license or learn how to drive. She doesn't allow her to go out with friends....skids aren't even allowed OUTSIDE at  BM's house if BM isn't home....in about the safest neighborhood on earth.

 

tog redux's picture

Yup. I don't care if he launches or lives with BM until 30.  I just count down those child support payments - and it's not even about the money, it's about BM not having any legal control and DH not having any financial responsibility for Mr. Failure To Launch. 

Thisisnotus's picture

OH yes!!! DH swears once CS is done BM is dead to him and will never speak again. He said that if she even dares attempt to contact him again after that....he will ask her politely and then file for a restraining order. BAHAHAHAHA I can't wait!!!!!!!!

Petronella's picture

Ooh can’t believe I forgot about that bonus- no more BM ever! Nothing to talk about, nothing to text about, nothing to get bitched at about! 

tog redux's picture

OMG, that's all I care about. Yes, the 1K a month extra will be nice, but we don't suffer for not having it.  I do suffer for wondering what BM's next power play will be (expecting one any day now). 

Petronella's picture

Well we are fortunate that BM ignores us 99% of the time. It’s been almost a year since the last time she hit him up for extra money (for a VAPE AND VAPE JUICE for a 16yo if you can believe that). So for us it’s mainly the monthly cash transfer left as a reminder of her existence. 

Capricorn63's picture

I paid my ex $1550 a month for almost 5 years in CS and Alimony.

It was very nice when it ended, as much emotionally as financially.

thinkthrice's picture

CS till 21

 Ridiculous!!

Hoping the Houseshitter emancipates by 18!

NotURMomma's picture

Stepbrat will graduate before he’s 18. I’m worried sick. I will not allow him to be under my roof 100% but 17 is not a legal adult. I wish he would go live with Biohag.

Petronella's picture

Ugh that’s awkward when that happens! I guess you guys will have to stick with the current arrangement until he turns 18. Maybe he’ll get a job or something after graduation so at least he’s not sitting around your house. 

NotURMomma's picture

My fear is a job will make him not be 50/50. I kinda told my DuH that when his kid gets a job it has to be near biohag’s residence. I’m so done. I can’t DO IT anymore!

agitated's picture

Obviously my SD will also be 17 at graduation. She has lived with him (and then us) FT since she was born (except 1.5 months when DH and BM broke up). BM could not take care of her. Anywho...BM would LOVE for SD to come live there and I bet SD would LOVE to live there. Maybe try making biohag's look really appealing? LOL

CLove's picture

When Feral Forger turned 18, she graduated a month later, then took classes to prolong things..THEN finally got a job, then ghosted us for 1.5 years.

Munchkin SD13 mentioned how the house felt lighter and cheerier when she left. LOL. Then I waited aproximately 8 months to trasnform her room into my "Clove room" (of course shes mad lol!) filled with light,and plants and fish, and my clothes...LOL.

With Munchkin I am only counting down the days until the end of :

1. Spousal Support ends (8 months now! $2,400)

2. Child Support - aka Toxic Troll BM Support (4 years and 9 months, or 57 payments, $ 19,799.00)

I told Munchkin SD13 that she can live with us for free if she is in college full time with a parttime job so she has some money. She is actually looking forward to being a productive human! She is looking at a career in the medical research field!!!! She is looking at salaries of differeent jobs, and the one she wants pays about 200k!!!

Feral Forger on the other hand, after ghosting us for1.5 years, STILL has no drivers license, and is living with her momee Toxic Troll, and is STILL a filthy lazy rude mean toxic pig of a human who hasnt done any college classes. AT 20 yo.

So, hopefully you will see some productivity, but you have to start grooming early.

agitated's picture

The great thing for us is we plan on buying a house right at the time she graduates...sooooo, if she decides to stay with BM. Then her would-be room is ALL MINE from the get go for my exercise room. She can't be mad because it was never hers to begin with. I'll be nice and put a futon in there if she decides to visit, but I don't see that happening seeing as she doesn't drive (no permit or license) and refuses to get one. BTW, her mom lives 12+ hours away.

NotURMomma's picture

It took me a long while to do any college type of stuff but I had some tragic and bad stuff occur that derailed my future (permanently.) I’ve done the best I could, however. I’ve come up a bit short but it could be worse. 

pickles45's picture

Well I have 3 years and 2 months before SO’s daughter turns 18. I’m bummed that he will still have to pay CS AND alimony for 4 months after she graduates high school but oh well...

im just sooo excited because he mentioned this week how once she does turn 18 she can either be off to college or live with BM! He and I also want to move as soon as she’s 18. And best of all he’s been talking to her about how she needs to plan on being independent. 

ChamomileTea4Me's picture

SD17 just had a birthday , too. There's definitely something about that number that put a little sparkle of hope back in my eyes. It suddenly seems more doable.  Unfortunately, SD17 is just starting Junior year, sooo...not sure what that will mean for us. We're in the home stretch though, OP!!! WOOOOO HOOOOO! 

Capricorn63's picture

age 18 or HS graduation which ever is later.....

Mine had those words.

I was shocked when I read my SO's and it said that it ends at age 18 and doesn't even cover his MSD through graduation her senior year.

thinkthrice's picture

who are getting involved with a guy who has kids under age 6...RUNNNNN!!!!!

(actually ANY age but think of the CS flushed!!!)

NotURMomma's picture

I’ve tempered my disappointment with the knowledge my children wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t married my DH.

 I’m still gonna cringe when DS goes to the same schools and some teacher recognizes the surname. 

ishouldrun's picture

Woo-hoo 11 more payments, 11 more months.  SKid has already said that once he turns 18 his bio-skank is going to sell the house and he's on the street.  Not my problem, haven't seen him for a total of 24 hours in over a year now, guess bio-skank will have to figure it out.  Yep great idea to PAS the kid-you made the bed now you lie in it.

Petronella's picture

Wow you’re so close!

Has your SK started hinting to Daddee that he wants to move in with you guys? Hope your DH shut that down HARD.

ESMOD's picture

Oh.. man.  I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it may not work out like that.  Quite often once the value of the CS payment goes away, the other parent magically does not want the burden of that child in their home. So, you may be free of a CS obligation.. but that kid could be "forced" to live with you.

pickles45's picture

BITE YOUR TONGUE!!! That is my fear - That once CS and alimony payments stop the coniving BM will make it so his daughter will wnt to live with us!!! Actually I shoudl say him! If that happens and she ends up living with him full time that will be when I get my own apt! 

ishouldrun's picture

and it was one of our better discussions.  Before PAS my SO would have been throwing a party if Skid said I want to live with you but over the past couple of years there has been so many lies, manipulative behavior and hurtful conduct that SO is not trying to push this idea -yet.  When we discussed it and I told SO that for me there were two options:  1) he could pay Skid's rent so he could live somewhere else for a time period determined by my SO or 2) he could move out and live with Skid but Skid is not living at my house.  I totally expect that SO may very well try some version of but it will only be for a couple of months when and if this happens but nope sticking to my guns on this one I cannot live with Skid.  Skid could also live with his auntie and BGM - he has spent overnights there for years anyway (has a bedroom there already) whenever BM wanted to be with her boyfriend and didn't want to be a mom which is most of the time.