Been reading a lot of the blogs on her with regard to toxic step children and mother-in-laws and so on........

If you are at your wits end and nothing you have tried has really worked, my advice to you is get the hell out while you still have your sanity!! it isnt going to change no matter what you do - I promise life will get better after an inital period of greeving and upset. It will - ive been there and done it am I'm starting to feel back in control of my life and much more stable mood and health wise.