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It's been a while and I really need to vent.....

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I hope all is well with everyone and you survived the holidays! I've actually been pretty good up until this morning when I just want to sit and cry and scream and yell and its so d@mn upsetting to know that there isn't a d@mn thing I can do about it except to just throw in the towel and walk away. Okay so things have been going very well with BF and I've started to see that he really does love me and want me to be a part of his life and with his kids, etc.

I'm sad to say that this will be my last entry...

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I want to first say thank you very much for all of your insightful advice, your wonderful words of support and all of the information that I've received over the last few months. I came to this site to be able to vent but also to learn and to see that I was not alone, in addition this site allowed me not to involve my family and friends who are not happy with my relationship with my BF.

My turn for the Holiday dilema...

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I can't believe this but last night BF and I were having a really nice evening and we were talking and boom he says BM wants to know the plans for Christmas (which means here's what she wants to do and lets see how it fits into our schedule) "and I'm going to be with the kids on Christmas morning at her house!!!!!" Okay yes did I almost loose my cookies right there.....YES! Just like that no questions asked, no discussion ..boom boom I'm going there Christmas morning and that's that...I was so taken aback that I just blurted out "Wow do I feel left out"!

How do I get my point across....

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I'm really pissed at myself and at BF because I can't get my point across about how much it hurts me that he spends so much time responding to BM insane texting and calling. I mean I can understand if you have a problem with the kids and you need to discuss, fine, or if the kids want to talk to you etc. but at 7:55AM, at 11PM, at 1AM this is not about the kids I"m sorry. Yesterday BM started at 8AM with the calls and texts about coming to get some clothes that were left at our house, I mean literally these items didn't amount to anything.

Venting today.....

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Well I don't understand this at all but it just slays me that BM continuously takes those kids on road trips like every other weekend and BF just goes with the flow. We have to ask her for the kids and then she dictates when we are going to have them and for how long and if she changes her mind which she does quite frequently then we may not after setting this up. I think its just nuts. BF's sister is having a group birthday dinner party for his neice, his mom and me in two weeks. She asked if we would have the kids because all the other kids would be there and I said well we'll ask.

Having a lot to be thankful for...

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Thanksgiving was really nice and relatively quiet. BM took kids to Ohio to some relatives and SD ended up getting sick which is unfortunate. So we didn't get to see the kids at all until yesterday we had SS. We had a really nice day and BM didn't interupt us to much. I have to say that things have been going well and am thankful for that. I'm thankful for finding this site and for the support that I get here. I'm thankful for BF and that he loves me very much and of course am thankful for the SS and SD as they teach me things all the time.

The weekend and party were a success.....the good....

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Well I'm happy to be writing this to you on Monday and not crying in my soup. This was the SS birthday party weekend that myself and BF were having. The "X" didn't pull anything stupid and I'm really happy to say that we were able to take the kids right after hockey on Saturday morning and kept them until hockey on Sunday night. We did a ton of stuff and then the party on Sunday afternoon was a success. All the family came and the cousins all played together and they all had a ball and SS was so excited. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend.

It's a great day in the neighborhood....

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Good Morning I'm in a good place today and want to share the good that has happened. So BM was still a total bitch to me at hockey this past Sunday and I swear she tries to do things to not get us to come there and I explained to my BF what she said and did when we got home that night. I didn't do it to start trouble but just to let him know. I think for the first time I actually said it out of disbelief but more casual then heated. I also that day talked with him about getting his mom and sister and brother and kids together for a little birthday party for his son who turns 7 this week.

Last nights visit...

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Well folks the queen biatch was at her finest again last night. Kids arrived just before I got there and so when I pulled in BM was still there saying her goodbye's. I was at the door putting my key in the lock (which she didn't know I had my own key) and she came to the door and didn't have anywhere to go, and I said "Hi" and she couldn't get by without saying anything so she looked down and mumbled a hi and then slammed the door, which I thought she was going to break! What a biatch.

Biomom is evil .....

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Okay Monday morning venting. I've been holding back for a week now and am just about to blow. We've not seen or heard from the kids all week since the big blow out on Friday before Halloween or so I thought...Had a big discussion with BF on Friday because I was feeling like an outsider and wanted to be more involved and I wanted him to know that when he keeps things from me or doesn't explain why he deals with BM and skids the way he does that it really hurts me and leaves me in the dark.

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