So in my last blog I wrote about how I spoke up to my SO about his adult daughters and the fact that the sun has set on their sad, pitty party about their parents' divorce and how it effects the rest of their lives and them not having to move on because they're still upset after 1.5 years.

:?

Ummmm my name is ruth and I am 37 years old and I have been through a whole of things through out my life and I am barely learning to do things the right way in my life! I was in a relationship with my kids dad for 15 years then we ended up spliting up and with him I had a step daughter and things didnt turn out right and now I am with another man that also has a daughter so now I am right back were I started it seems like how the heck did this happen and thats why I went looking for this site or some kind of help but hey at least Im trying right!

One of the biggest points of confusion and controversy as I talk to people about Stepmonster and stepmother reality is the injunction, “Put the kids first” and “The kids should always come first” and other variations on this theme. It’s become a virtual mantra since Constance Ahrons introduced the idea of “The Good Divorce” and highly cooperative co-parenting after a breakup as ideal for the kids. The members of the ex-couple, Mom and Dad, should put their differences aside, Ahrons urges, for the sake of a more harmonious “bi-nuclear family” or divorced family that spans two households.

by Ron L. Deal and Laura Petherbridge

My kids will come to me after SS has done something else that is stupid, and can’t believe that nothing happens to him. (Discipline) They always joke that SS would not have made it to 17 if he would have been my kid. Lol.

Brings me to this morning. My son is at school and I run by house at 10:00AM. SS is still there. Following conversation takes place….

I know it could always be worse. Believe me, I know. Just let me vent....sometimes I seriously wonder what normal, middle-class people with kids (and skids) are supposed to do. We don't qualify for any assistance because we are a whopping $100 dollars/month over the eligibility cap for food stamps or WIC.

After figuring bills out for after the baby comes, and after I go back to work, we'll only have about $75 left a month to spend on gas and groceries. Wow.

Ok, so 2 weekends ago, SD11 went with BF to work for a 12 hour shift... he wanted to spend time with her. She asked to go. I have asked to stop by for lunch like I used to, he said it was a bad idea because they have gotten into trouble for it. So she can spend all day there??
:?

We never had enough money for a honeymoon last year. We are going this year.

In conversation discussing renewing our vows and going on honeymoon right away. Dh say's yes I want the kids with us of course. I would love having them with us. This is including the evil one he refuses too admit is dangerous to our baby who we will take with us because we don't have childcare.

Just got bad news...we should have expected this but for some reason we were in la-la land.

Fiance gets a hefty tax return every year because he works a ton of overtime. He also gets a profit sharing bonus in February. This year, he gets to also claim his son, SS3 (they flip-flop years to claim him). He was anticipating a total sum of at least $7,000 with all of this.

I went over to the BM's parents house last night with DH to tell them they werent going to see the kids for awhile. The fat, nasty bitch BM walks in the door. She has a scowl on her face the whole time. My DH confronts all of them about why when SS9 gets home from his visits there he is all upset with me and says he doesnt like me and seems depressed. The bitch BM says "I NEVER say anything about her at all. All I tell him is how much I love him." My BD5 also has spent most of her life visiting that family (mind you BM was never in the picture).