Feels good to find a site where I am able to anonymously blog exactly what I am thinking, without the guilt of hurting my family, or feeling like a my friends will think I am a terrible person. I often think that I am the only one who dislikes their SC and that I am a terrible person for even contemplating the fact I almost despise him.

Why is that the whole dynamic in the house changes when my ss comes for the weekend? I'm really worried if we cant get through a weekend how will we possiably get through 3months strait. I barely survived last summmer. I know a lot of women on here fell somewhat like this I see it in the blogs of other people. But why is it? I mean other people come into our homes and everything stays the same but this one child can change so much in our homes.

Haven't posted in a while and had decided to leave but I am back now. We finally went to court for the contempt case DH filed against BM back in March of 2010. (You can read back over the blogs to see how deranged and crazy BM really is.) Here is an update on the latest.....

Well, next time I get all worked up about Princess coming home from college, remind me not to. She came home last Saturday, and spent most of the weekend in her bedroom. Granted, she was a help on Mother's Day and made dinner for Gibby while Loghead and I got to go out on a date. She was gone by monday night.

I can already tell you what is going to happen. BM is not going to drop them off at 6:30 like she is supposed to. She has continued all week to be irrational and I do not see her suddenly snapping back into reality in 36 hours.

How has it changed my life? Let me count the ways. Biggest change has been the feeling of freedom of responsibility. I made the stand that I no longer would take responsibility for promises and commitments made by others. If the person making the commitment was not in a position to fulfill that promise or commitment then let them suffer the embarrassment and the consequenses. Unlike the past, I do not step forward to save the day. Unlike the past I do not feel that an embarrassing situation happening to others has any reflection on me.

I haven't been on for a while but I think I havwe come to a crossroads. DH and I have avoided the SD6 topic for a while but it recently resurfaced and things are no better now than they were a year ago. If anything it's gotten worse. I stopped expecting myself to find a way to love or even like this kid and concentrated on just being able to tolerate her.

I am trying so hard to disengage and have me time. ( FYI I finalley got my car back and he fixed his truck. ) Well I've been telling him for months wash your kids sheets there rm smells like piss. I open there window and light a candel daily. He won't do it so I finalley did. Unless I make him he won't bathe them while there here. He will let his youngest run in a piss diaper half the damn day. First thing I do is get the youngest changed right when we get them from BM because we have got the youngest with blisters numerous times.

Bs20 if finally home after a long stay in the hospital due to major health issues which are no fault of his own. We made hm leave college so he could rest and recover and take care of himself. Yesterday at the market he looked upset. I asked him what was wrong and he told me, mom I'm so mad, all dad did yesterday was talk sh*t on how YOU ran ss23 off.

Stains new crash pad is at his mothers. Yes the same woman who kicked him out a year ago when she could no longer financially profit from him living with her. This is also the same woman who has kicked her son out twice already and the last time she called the cops and said she feared for her life to make it difficult for Stain to get his belongings.That explains how and why they are ganging up on their campaign of hate towards anyone and everyone who won't give them money. Stain's roommate kicked stain out.