Hi Guys

I spend a lot of time reading the posts and replies on this web site and there are so many times that I want to respond. Most of the times, I am overcome by such a feeling of hopelessness that I don't have the energy to type.
I feel for each and everyone of you out there... I am so pleased to see more men actually participating on this site.. this is not a "female" problem but a "human" one..
All of us go into the stepparent maze with the same hopes... to do the best we possibly can and create an atmosphere in which all family members can grow and flourish.

I went to stepson's soccer game today. My husband is stepson's coach so I usually sit pretty close to the bench. Anyway, when biomom arrived with her ex-boyfriend and their two and a half year old daughter, they had to push her stroller right in front of me. Of course they never said anything to me nor I to them. You won't believe what happened next!!

My husband of one year has brought alot of baggage to the table that I accepted openly...He has four children with three different women. He holds what he calls a "friendship" with the mother of his oldest son. I have supported a positive relationship between the two because I think it very important for his son. BUT...

This is my BF’s weekend to have his daughter, anyway, he says to me this morning that she is going to spend the night at her BM because her cousins (girls) are spending the night. He goes on to say that the reason for this is the cousin’s dad is interviewing for a job in another state.

Hello ladies its been a little while since my last post...I have a bit of an issue...I don't know about you all but everytime my husbands ex calls I get sick to my stomach...its a nervous feeling really...not because shes calling but because I know that my husband and I will get into a fight and not talk for a couple of days...

This is sort of complicated, so bear with me. My BF's ex-wife was unfaithful during their marriage and became pregnant with another man's child. My BF did not discover this was not his biological child until two years after the child was born. Because of this and other issues a divorce shortly followed. My BF has continued to accept the daughter as his own. Recently the bio father has tracked down my BF's ex-wife and has expressed interest in meeting/contacting the daughter (who is now 6). From what we know, the bio father could ask/demand parental rights, if he chooses to.

Well...we had our joint counselling session yesterday. We discovered how some of our previous relationship "baggage" affects how we argue...and how things escalate..from there

We feed off each others reactions ...

1) if he thinks I'm being distant...
......then he backs off

2) he backs off.....then I feel distant

His x tortured him with constant cold shoulder/silent treatment/being distant/ HE can't stand it....He feels totally unloved/abandoned/alone..etc.. he has a hard time dealing with it (I didn't understand the depth of his feelings on this)

Am 45, English guy, living with my French partner in Spain. SD is Spanish, from Spanish BIODAD. He is a loser but SD worships him..her does zip for her. SD is 17 and ALWAYS angry, and always shouting and saying how she hates the home, her mom, me.. and has been so bold as to state she has an aim to split us up! BIOMOM hates to confront, but I think she (SD) needs some discipline.

YEt when I ask why SD is angry with me, I am accused of lack of understanding and tolerance. How can I understand, I didn't have the past 17 years to prepare me for today!!

This morning BM came to drop SD (4) off for the afternoon. I could hear SD crying and BM screaming at her before they even got to my door. I opened the door and BM SCREAMS "Get to your F***ing room now". SD was hysterical and went to her room. I asked BM what happened she said that her boyfriend and her had gotten into a fight on the way over here and when she got out of the car he left. He was supposed to be taking BM to the dentist. She said SD was "being a little brat and freaking out".