Worried we are losing them
My SO and I have been together 10 years, married for 9. We have a 7 y/o together and he shares custody of 14 and 16 year old SDs with their HCBM. Recently it feels like we are losing them, and they don't want to come over much anymore. I think they just come over out of guilt now because they know it is going to hurt their dad for them to not be here. Their mother is a narcissist if I ever saw one...everything she does is big, grand, in your face, rules don't apply to her, she is never wrong about ANYTHING, etc. When the girls are with us, she is texting them once an hour on their leashes. If my DH texts her about an issue he is having with them, she makes sure to tell him how wonderful it is at her house, how she doesn't have these issues, etc. My bio daughter loves her sisters more than anything. I work with teenagers and I know they are incredibly selfish human beings by nature due to their development, so I really feel like I know what is coming... I am just scared that they are going to tell my DH they don't want to come over here anymore after we have made SO MANY life changes in order to make things easier for them, and we are just going to feel so destroyed. My youngest will be like an only child, because I cannot have anymore children and am at a point in my career where I really don't want another anywhere. We have put so much into making sure they have what they need while at our house, include them in everything, etc.I guess I am trying to figure out how to deal with the situation when it inevitably happens, without myself or my DH lashing out inapropriately based on our own feelings.
I am sure someone else has been through this...any advice?