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Notthedoormat's picture

got here yesterday and its been ok. The baby's birthday and party are today. It hasn't been horrible, but the ex actually came by the hotel this morning and called my husband to come down to see the baby.  I was drying my hair so I could go out there. He brought the baby up to our room while the ex went to the store. I guess it was nice, but I swear she wants any excuse to see my DH. She just picked the baby up. I think DH and I are going to get a late breakfast before the party and I'm soooo hoping the ex doesn't invite herself like she usually does!

I am still trying to kill her with kindness.  This party is going to be full of SD's DH (the thief awaiting trial) and they are all white trash,  so I dread it for sure.

JRI's picture

It will be over in a few hours.  I felt the same way going to SGD's baby shower.  I went with my DIL, a very religious person.  We cooked up a story why we had to leave early, DIL had a church event she had to attend.  Lol.

Perhaps your migraine will kick up again this afternoon.  You know, the one where the doctor said you should rest in a quiet, dark room.

SeeYouNever's picture

You just have to make an appearance. Go be a guest and enjoy that you don't have to help with the setup or takedown. It'll be over soon.

Notthedoormat's picture

So much worse!

DH brought the baby to our room ans we played with her for about an hour before BM came back to get her, calling my DH when she got back to our hotel. He took her down and I packed up the rest of our stuff to get ready for check out.

We went to eat on our own, which was a huge relief to me, since DH's ex usually ends up coming with us. We make it to the party venue a bit early and helped set up. SD didn't even look at me until I spoke to her. In a kind gesture I ordered some maternity clothes for her and I asked her if they fit well and she acknowledged me with an "um hum" and a nod of her head. DH and I hung some banners and helped out where we could... I was glad to be busy. When it was time to eat BM asked if I wanted a hot dog ..I smiled and declined politely,  saying DH and I had just eaten so we would probably just lightly snack. She seemed a little miffed, but whatever.  SGD wanted to sit in my lap and let me help her get her food on her fork, and also when it was time for cake she wanted in my lap to help feed her. That made it worth it all and reminded me why I can't fully disengage.  I see her infrequently because of distance and I sometimes skip trips, and despite that she wanted to be with me. 

I was also so happy that we left from the party and didn't go back to BM's house to hang out or anything.   That made a huge difference!  It really could have been disastrously worse. 

I wore my smile and dressed up and was made up and behaved as graciously as I could.  Worth drilling the mindset!

JRI's picture

Your mom would have been proud as you channeled her example.