Update (break through?)
In my last post I talked about the possibility of oldest Skidult moving to live with us. Well, last night DH and I were sitting together and I asked if he'd heard from the skids. He said no, he hadn't and announced that he wasn't calling their mom to check on them, either. Before I even gave it a thought I said "You shouldn't have to, their adults." He agreed with me!
He went on to ask me if I've noticed they only contact him when they want something from him. I nodded and said "yes, and I don't like it." I stopped there because I didn't want to regret saying too much and I think he just needs to marinate in this realization for a bit.
Hopefully he doesn't forget how he's feeling now when one of them does contact him again because he truly doesn't deserve to be hurt over and over.
He says he thinks oldest skidult changes their mind about coming to stay with us and I'm not heartbroken about it because I feel like it would have done more harm than good to their relationship, too. They are polar opposite of one another in too many ways to make life under the same roof comfortable for anyone. I'm grateful we won't have to confirm that the hard way.