ss26 keeps mentioning that he wants this house
So ss26 and SDIL live with her parents. They have 1 child together and she had one previously that she tries to pass off as his. Some serious PASing going on with sgs8's father but that's a different story.
Anyway, lately ss26 keeps telling DH that he would love to have this house. I get it, he has a family now and is living in his IL's very small basement. ss26 has been working a low paying job since he got kicked out of the Army, then dropped out of college saying it was too stressful to work, have a family and study too. SDIL does a work trade, not for $$$, and she also babysits full time to "help out" a friend and gets about $200 a month and watches her sisters kid for free. They are not raking in the money yet they are both working full time.
It's annoying that he is basically hinting that Dh should just let him "have" this house. They're freeloading off of the IL's, not saving $, getting new tattoos and buying new crap, yet all the "real adults" need to support them and let them "have" what they have worked their whole lives for. If ss actually applied himself slightly he could qualify for an awesome VA loan and just buy this house, but no. Everything should just be handed to him, he should get a free ride.
Who's house is it, is it
Who's house is it, is it jointly owned or your DH.
If it is joint then I would get it valued and tell your DH that if he wants his son to have your home then he needs to give you at least 50% of the house value so you can buy/rent yourself a home and he need to find somewhere for himself to live as he is giving away his/your home.
It is DH's home and I have
It is DH's home and I have dumped a ton of time and $$$ into renovating it during the years we've been married. He's going to sell this home and I'm going to sell off some valuables so that we can go on in a home of OUR own together. DH still has mortgage pmts so he can't just "give" the home to ss. ss is not even in the space to be able to rent it from DH since they are making car pmts and having fun with all of their surplus income.
Tell him you're sorry but
Tell him you're sorry but your house isn't for sell and then offer him the number of a real estate agent how can hopefully find him a similar home.
Oh but then he'd actually
Oh but then he'd actually have to do some leg work instead of just having it handed over to him. ss26 spawned and isn't comfortable in the IL's basement so of course DH should just give him a house!
What's with these grown skids
What's with these grown skids of yours that they think their parents should still be paying their way through life? One lives with BM along with his GF, the other lives with his GF's parents and wants your house. WTF.
The skids can't afford apartments. What makes this one think he could afford property taxes, utilities and house maintenance (even if Dad was foolish enough to give it away).
You were 'blessed' (cursed???) with two very special sensed of entitled skids. Lucky you :sick:
The entitlement is unreal.
The entitlement is unreal. Apparently they are too broken to make it on their own in the world. They want it all but don't want to have to work for it. They forget that their father has worked his entire life and almost always worked overtime to get where he is and that I work full time and have paid for all the nice upgrades they now want to claim.
DH has talked about selling or renting the house to ss and I just say, "That's great honey, ss would be paying us about $1500 a month and that would help us pay off our new house faster." Never gonna happen, ss doesn't pay his current IL's so why should he fork over that much to his father?
It's getting old having to overhear ss saying that when he comes over. I wish DH would shut him down and tell him if he wants something to work for it!
OK, so the real problem is
OK, so the real problem is that DH sits there and says nothing. SS's request is ridiculous anyway because he could never be able to afford the payments. I'm sure he wants DH to pay off the loan, THEN give him the house. Ordinarily it would be DH's job to give SS a reality check but it looks like it will be up to you. Next time he blurts that he wants your house, give him a 'written estimate' of what his cost would be. That includes equity and payments.
"I'm sure he wants DH to pay
"I'm sure he wants DH to pay off the loan, THEN give him the house."
Yup, this is exactly what ss is hinting at. I'll pass on giving him a reality check because he's only going to hear whats he wants to.
When SS's GF got knocked up
When SS's GF got knocked up her mother bought them a house to live in since they "have a baby". Once upon a time having a baby was a time to grow up and be independent. Now it's a reason to demand more stuff.
Her mother bought all the baby stuff too, furnished the place, and spent weeks painting it, having floors updated, etc. Did 6'4" SS help with any of this? Of course not he was too busy with his 20 hour a week job.
I have no idea what their financial arrangements are about ownership, rent, taxes, insurance. I don't care as DH and I have no skin in this game.
I'm sure ss heard about
I'm sure ss heard about someone getting this kind of windfall and thinks that DH would gladly do the same. Perhaps I'll suggest that his mother give him her townhouse next time he's over.
Since you are not on
Since you are not on title/deed does your state have any Dower laws that protect spouses that are not on title? Most Provinces and states have laws or acts that protect those rights. You might want to look into it.
I'll have to look into that.
I'll have to look into that. I have invested a lot of money into the house so I'm sure legally I would have some say. Luckily DH isn't ready to hand over the deed. We are planning on selling next year and getting OUR own home.
Since you are not on
Since you are not on title/deed does your state have any Dower laws that protect spouses that are not on title? Most Provinces and states have laws or acts that protect those rights. You might want to look into it.
"SO is not giving her an
"SO is not giving her an answer it means NO... she does not get it and will keep on asking.."
This is exactly what is going on between DH and ss. Sadly ss may think that DH's vagueness is a glimmer of hope. DH and I have talked about it and there is no way that I would let him even rent this place without a HUGE deposit. ss used to have major parties here as a teen and I've spent a lot of time and money fixing the damage downstairs.
A few years ago ss had the gall to ask DH if he could bring all his friends over and have a "get trashed" party. I of course said, "HELL NO." This is an adult married man, with children who wants to host a drunken party at dad and SM's house. I told DH to have ss ask his IL's if they could have the party there. Apparently they'd already said no. I also suggested that they do like most people do and go to a bar to drink and get drunk rather than go to their parents home.
So renting a home from us is also going to be a huge no. If he wants to buy it he can apply for a loan like everyone else.