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Anyone else suspicious of Adult Skid motives?

still learning's picture

I feel like steplife has made me cynical to the point that every kindness is first perceived as a threat.  ss30 who has had nothing to do with his DH's mother for the last 7 years has suddenly taken an interest in her upcoming birthday, MIL is in her mid 80's and in poor health.  When I say nothing, I mean zero contact or interest from someone who lives nearby. All the grandparent attention has been reserved for BM's family since the beginning. 7 years ago DH dragged ss's and gskids to their gma's house for a holiday dinner and that was the last time either of them saw or talked to her.  Now, out of the blue, ss suddenly has an interest in the 'old bird.'  DH is so excited that ss wants to suddenly shower his mom with photos of him and his family (that's the gift).  I'm skeptical and wonder what his motive is.  

Could it be that he really just wants to reconnect with his grandmother after all this time? Is he trying to be kind and have her finally get to know her great-grandkids? Or is he reminding her that he exists and to please leave him something in her will? I just hate to see MIL get love-bombed for a minute then abandoned again for who knows how long.  Am I being overly pessimistic here?  

advice.only2's picture

Yeah sounds like a money grab opportunity to me. It would lead me to wonder what events have occurred recently that he sees the benefit of being friendly with his grandmother. Did he have a friend whose grandparent recently passed and got a big windfall. It just seems too suspect for him to suddenly grow a conscience and care about anybody but himself.

still learning's picture

Who knows, maybe he saw a Hallmark movie about a rich relative who left a distant heir all their wealth.  ss has been visiting DH more lately and appears to be being more thoughtful.  If he had always been this way there would be no question that he's just being nice, but the suddenness of it all is setting off my spidey senses.  

Stepdrama2020's picture

Often past behavior predicts the future. If the history of SS  hasnt been good then chances are good intentions are not at the forefront.

Lil manipulators are dang good at reeling you in for their own personal gain. Shame on SS if this is the case. Especially trying to take advantage of the elderly.

 

SeeYouNever's picture

Step life has made me cynical too. I would keep an eye on it. It's possible that they got some photos done and are having it be an easy gift for a lot of people all at once and your DH may have brought up your MIL first in a conversation. If he continues to cozy up then I would begin to wonder. 

CLove's picture

YEP. When SD22 Feral Forger is friendly, its pretty apparent that its to get money. If they begin like selfish turds, they continue being selfish turds.

BUT that being said, you cant really say anything or do anything, just watch things unfold.

still learning's picture

I had to bite my tongue so hard not to say something.  You're right, there's nothing I can do but sit back with my popcorn. This is hard to do when DH is clearly being manipulated but even harder with his frail mother.  

diver111's picture

SD only contacts DH when she wants or needs something. She's 29 and I don't see that changing. He loans her money that she never pays back. And he's surprised? I just sit back and watch. 

Rags's picture

When I read STalker stories.... far more often than not I am suspicious of Skidult motives.

MissTexas's picture

Like you, I have become somewhat cynical. I've been betrayed and burned too many times.

It always proves to be short lived and self-serving.

Always go with that gut feeling. It's there for a reason. Yield to that!

ImperfectlyPerfect's picture

Gut feeling, spidey senses, previous behavior it's all pointing in a direction where you've got your "hunch." Believe it. 

Missingme's picture

Only one of my stepkids says and does semi-nice things and I also instantly question the motive. I hate it that I've become so distrustful as I used to innocently trust most people. It was a freer time back then. I fight being cynical. This particular skid would probably be enjoyable if her jealous mother wasn't in the picture pulling all the strings.