Bday party for SGD6
Since I last blogged, my hubby and I purchased the lake house I mentioned and have been working to get settled in (taking forever since we're only there on weekends.) This past weekend, we had our first gathering, a small birthday party for SGD6. Unlike prior parties, DH was heavily involved. He communicated with SS26 about the party and ordered and wrapped all the gifts. Unlike prior years, I bought no elaborate decorations, custom birthday banner, etc. My contribution was ordering a partially decorated cake that I then added a couple toys to and ordering pizza for delivery. This was the first time we've seen SS26 & family since the beach trip in July, and I believe the first communication since then was DH reaching out about the party.
The party went well. SS26 and SDIL seemed fine, and SS25 and his wife also came. Everyone was cordial. There were no dishes or anything that required "help," so no issues there. There was lots of talk about plans for all of them to visit frequently, including Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, and of course, during boating season next year.
The only thing that has bugged me since the party is that, while SS26 made two posts on social media of SGD6's party at BM's the day before, he posted nothing about our party. (You may recall SS26 only posted pics of him, SDIL & SGDs at the beach trip with us we paid for and no mention of DH, our bios or me.) DH continues to think, with BM now on social media, SS26 is "afraid" of posting anything related to DH for fear of seeming "disloyal" to BM. I did note that SS26's wife DID post some pics from our bday party on social media--no pics of us or mentioning us, of course--and BM did not "like" it, even though she's liked every other post by SDIL with pics of the SGDs, which seems telling. I also posted pics from the party on my social media and neither SS26 nor SS25 liked it (I feel sure they have a setting that they don't see my posts.)
Part of me wants to feel sorry for SS26 if he does suffer from fear of upsetting BM. Part of me is angry that we apparently mean so little. And another part of me says it's petty to worry about a post (or lack thereof) on social media. However, I think the lack of post on social media almost certainly means something about how SS26 feels about us/the situation. It seems clear he doesn't care if DH feels appreciated. (And we spent about $300 on gifts, plus gave SGD6 $50 cash, so it wasn't some token amount.)
I'm curious if any of you think this is no big deal and I should put it out of my mind and be happy the visit went ok, or do you think I should feel offended and do even less next time? I'm trying to be an adult about this and just feeling very conflicted.