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What's ur point of view?

JY's picture

Hello,

I haven't been on the website in a long time. So much has happened not sure where to begin. I have a 1 year old daughter with my fiance. I have a 14 year old daughter from a previous relationship and fiance has a 12 year old daughter from his previous relationship. I don't have drama with my baby father. Fiance on the other hand its a different story. Fiance settled last year the custody in the best interest of his 12 year old. Since, that time the crazy BM ex wife has violated it numerous times. It started when the baby was born in August of last year. She started mentioning how fiance wasn't paying attention to the 12 year old. I told him to nip that real fast in the butt. I didn't want any mention of the baby, the 14 year old or me in any of her damn emails to him.
Afterwards, they had agreed in the custody order that he would help her to get a passport for her to travel to the crazy BM ex wife's homeland. She then mentioned me in the email about him having to inform me of everything and that that was why the 12 year old wouldn't be able to get her passport. She then basically told him she didn't want him to go to the post office but, for him to complete the form and send it to her. Fiance then replied to her that he didn't comprehend why the mention of my name in the email and apart from this if the 12 year old hasn't obtained the passport, it's due to the fact she hasn't told him when they should meet in the post office. He told her to avoid any further delay in the daughter getting the passport he would complete the form and send it to her. He sent it via certified mail to her.
Christmas came and she decides to send the 12 year old with a gift for him and for the baby only. At this point, I was really livid and I told him to send the damn gift back and to tell her in this household they are 5 people including the 12 year old. Moving forward no more gifts should be sent by either party to the other's household whomever the 12 year old was with would be responsible for the gifts to the people in the household they are at.
Then summer vacation came, and fiance emailed her in May asking her if he could use the daughter's passport in August because, we had plans to go to Canada to the Niagara Falls. He also informed her of the July vacation as well. She never replied.
Then after the 60 day notification they are suppose to inform each other of their vacation plans. He receives an email from her telling him that during his second vacation in August with the daughter she was going to travel to her families. The time frame she gave is when the babies birthday fell so, now he told her she couldn't travel during his vacation time and for her to change the flight. Of course, she violated the court order, and fiance went to court the day he was suppose to have his daughter after contacting the police and filing a report he filed a petition with the court. He basically noted that she violated the court order and he requested physical and legal custody. Now they are scheduled to return to court in November.
The school year has started and Fiance receives a call from the ex sister in law telling him that her father is extremely sick and the doctors do not expect him to make it. She then ask him if the daughter could stay with them so, the daughter has an opportunity to spend time with the grandfather. So Fiance forfeited his Friday to Saturday with daughter.
Fiance had emailed her prior to this situation above happening asking her during the weekends he has the daughter from Friday to Saturday before these days he is suppose to have the daughter one day during the week. He asked her if he could have the daughter from Wednesday to Thursday, and he asked her to respond before the next Wednesday he has the daughter.
Now he comes home and he is like he got an email from her telling him that he can pick her up this weekend as scheduled because, they can't do the dinner for the dad they had planned.
I tell him she has time to email you about this but, doesn't have the time to respond to your request. He gets annoyed and starts saying she still has time and that I'm being heartless. Now he and I start to argue because, I tell him she has time to think about this but, doesn't have time to think about the other thing. Come on let's be realistic her track record in the past to the present has continued to be the same. She hasn't changed not one bit. I told him go to bed and I forgot not my daughter don't need to involve myself. I keep forgetting that I keep telling myself not my daughter butt out. Am I truly being heartless for even thinking in this manner?
I can guarantee you if the role were reverse she wouldn't hesitate to even mention it to him.
What's your viewpoint?

Thank you

JY's picture

Oh and I forgot during the mother violated the custody order by taking the daughter during his summer vacation. Mysteriously and oddly the daughter's cell phone he purchased fell into the water. Allegedly they purchased her a new one which when he was contacted by the cell phone company they needed the code to be able to activate it. Unfortunately Fiance didn't remember so, they had to bring it back not activated. When Fiance went to pick up daughter at the airport, unbeknownst to her or the daughter. This was a shocker. The crazy BM ex wife caused a scene right in front of the daughter, telling him he wasn't taking daughter with the clothes she came. Fiance was accompanied by the airline police and he directed all his words towards the police officer and basically told her either I leave with my daughter or I'm pressing charges. The police officer turned to the mother and she was like alright and asked if she could give the daughter her cell phone. Fiance let the daughter get the cell phone.
He waited with the police officer and the police officer was courtesy and escorted him to the entrance of the parking lot where he parked his car.
Fiance then took daughter to activate the phone upon his viewing he states the phone wasn't new. He told daughter why does the phone have scuffs on it and it's chipped? Daughter simply shrugged her shoulders. In addition when he arrived at home he viewed the receipt and he noticed a message indicating that the phone was changed from a cell # he had no clue who it belonged to. He checked daughter's phone book and didn't see it on there.
Anyway the purpose of this information is because, over the last weekend during the weekend he forfeited he gets a call from daughter telling him that the cell phone keeps showing a word "Boot" on it. He directs her to turn it off and wait for 1/2 an hour and turn it back if the same problem occurs for her to call him back. Daughter calls him back and tells him the same thing. Now mind you he tells me this story after the fact, and in addition he informs me that he went and purchased the daughter a new cell phone b/c he originally had planned to get her a new one for her birthday for making progress in her grades. Mind you the girl got between 70's to 85's. Compared to what she was getting the previous year it was a progress but, in my opinion I would never reward a child for such low grades in my standard. I believe when you are a kid and have no responsibilities but, to be a kid you should have no problem getting 85's to 100's. This I see worthy of rewarding. Anyway again when he told me all this I had told myself not my daughter butt out. I simply told him that's interesting, and that was it. Is it me but, I just feel me and fiance argue and argue more and more. We don't see eye to eye or have the same viewpoints and I just ponder now why didn't I see it before.