OT - Opinions on Adoption vs. Sperm Donor
DH has 2 kids (SD4 and SD6). I have no bio kids of my own. After SD4 was born, DH had a vasectomy because BM didn't want any more kids and refused to have her tubes tied.
Anyway, way back when we were still dating, we discussed whether or not we'd ever want children together, and how we would go about doing that. There are several options including reversing the vasectomy, IVF, adoption, and non-spousal sperm donation.
Our preference is getting the reversal and conceiving naturally, but it's also very expensive. IVF is just as (if not more) expensive, and not a guarantee. So that really leaves adoption and sperm donor as choices 2 and 3.
DH says that he chooses adoption over sperm donor every time. That he would actually have a real issue with the sperm donor option if that's what it came to, so much so that he wouldn't even consider it option #3. When I ask him why, he says he couldn't see himself raising another man's child. He distinguishes this from adoption because the adoptable kids aren't EITHER of ours (biologically), and those kids are already born; not like we're creating kids to adopt.
Anyway .. I don't know how I really feel about this comment. He can't see raising a child we decide to conceive and raise together, but it's okay for me to [help] raise his kids? I know his girls are not my bio kids and not my primary responsibility, but I'm still very active in their lives and take a proactive role in parenting when they're in my home.
I don't WANT to be angry, but the comment does rub me the wrong way a little. At this point, the whole conversation is all hypothetical anyway, so do I even really have room to be upset?
What do you think?