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OT - Sperm Donor or Vas Reversal?

lieutenant_dad's picture

So, it's time to give parenthood a shot. I finally have some downtime to make some appointments and get this ball rolling. However, I am in need of some opinion/insights on which route to go.

DH could get a vasectomy reversal. Pro of this is that the child is biologically his (which would irk BM to no end, and I get some twisted pleasure out of that). Con is that it has been a LONG time, DH has been a smoker and hasn't been the nicest to his body, and he got the full enchilada when he got snipped. He was really planning on never having kids again. Also, this route gets pricey.

OR

We could use a sperm donor. Pros are that it is cheaper and it will still irk BM (yes, petty, but I never said I wasn't a petty person). Cons are that DH won't be biologically linked.

Feelings-wise, I am somewhat indifferent. I would *like* to have a baby the old fashioned way, but if we do the reversal and it doesn't take, I'm going to be basting the turkey anyway, so to speak. I would also like the baby to be mine and DH's biologically, but see above.

DH is sitting at a 10 for wanting the reversal and a 9.7 for wanting to use a donor. Adopting is further down both our lists because we aren't nearly affluent enough to get a newborn, and I don't know that I want to feel like a step mom to my own adopted kids (this may be an irrational fear, but having talked to my boss who foster adopted, there are several parallels).

So, I need some guidance or suggestions or something. Clarity maybe? I am getting to an age where decisions need to be made NOW so I have time to get things to work if they don't the first go around. And I want to make a decision by the end of the month.

So give it to me, STalkers!

Comments

nengooseus's picture

But I would do donor sperm. 

My dad did a vas reversal and complained unmercifully how awful it was, and I wouldn't have the patience to put up with that. 

Plus it would get your process moving faster, which is a good thing.

not your momma's picture

Can't he just have some of his sperm extracted and then you could be inseminated by that? That's something my DH and I were considering.

lieutenant_dad's picture

I'd have to go through IVF, and that is just not something I want to do. With a sperm donor, they can do artificial insemination without Clomid, which I would much prefer.

Regarding a donor, that is a bit of a risk, so I know I need to research reputable companies and find out what their background check process is. Ultimately, though, while DH now is a wonderful person, he could end up with some horrible medical issue in the future that he passes along, or ends up being a horrible person in the future. It's a bit of a shot in the dark either way.

Harry's picture

what is the % the reversal is going to work   ????  Once that done a second child will be easy. And not as costly 

IVF is like $15,000 +  each time. So second round if needed is another $10,000 +  adds up fast 

StepMamaBear6's picture

I would try the reversal and if it doesn't work, the turkey baster sounds like a nice back up plan!  Smile