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Are you turned off with DH when BM and steps come around too?

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture


Eh, because I am. Bleh. It used to not affect me as badly but lately, for the last few weeks, it has. Everytime BM raises her beastly head, I'm turned off. Surely DH must notice this after years and years of almost daily lovemaking? He can't be that blind, can he? BM started her email, tag gameplaying a few days ago and every since, I have been faking going to bed early. I'm like, "Alright sweetie, I'm bushed. Stay up and play with your music downloads, or whatever. " (I don't quite phrase it that way).

I don't understand. I am normally turned on to him but, not anymore when his ex-wife crap starts up. I think that deep inside of my psyche, I do not feel 101% secure with him. I feel like a polygamist or something when this starts up. IF he would keep her on a leash and quit turning OUR home upside down, everytime she decides she wants some "time." (welcome to the world of being a parent).

I also feel that my DH SHOULD take care of THEIR son. I have gotten to the point of feeling like a single mom myself. It doesn't even bother me honestly.

What do you guys think?

firecrackerz12's picture

Dh is embarrassed lol. Said he was blind. I would give her props if she was beautiful but my goodness she has not aged greatly.
We never see her but when we do, same black sweats, same fried hair, same black circles around eyes. Yuck.
When BM feels the need to b*tch email wise, I run as far as I can. DH never replies, she hates that

smartone's picture

I have experienced this, but it's the way he lets her run all over him. THAT is a turn off. I have told him so, too.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

It isn't BM's so-called lack of looks that turns me off, it is watching my own HUSBAND cower to her every single time she barks.

It turns me the f off. Not a masculine quality. IF he ever put her in her place, maybe it would be a turn on. We are dealing with natural responses, or lack of.

Look at the animal kingdom and how the male whatever defends his whatever, to death even? That's my point. We are not immune to Nature.

smartone's picture

Yep, they have NO problem standing up to US, but when it comes to the BM..."IT'S FOR THE KIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDSSSSS!" Whatever, PUSSY!

firecrackerz12's picture

Yes!!! I made dh stand up two nights ago. It ticks me off greatly when i am the one mad but not him when she emails rude things

New second wife-step-mom's picture

but MOSTLY its how he handles situations with her that turns me off... the fact that she walks all over him and he just takes it like he likes it...

^^^ This

"stand up for yourself dude!" is what I feel like telling him,

^^^ And this.

What woman wants another woman taking up your DH's time and attention? Not me!

I have to admit that after 3+ years of telling DH that I can't stand the way he says how high every time BM says jump he has finally started to tell her "no".

He is finally standing up for himself and for me and I love it!

So he has been getting a lot of my attention lately! Wink

TASHA1983's picture

Exactly!!! I dont give a fuck who it is...offspring or ex whatever...I dont like sharing my man and his time and attention...PERIOD!!! }:)

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

These feelings are all NATURAL. Again, LOL; look at the animal kingdom. Watch Animal Planet and see how the "react." :O

I'm serious!

TASHA1983's picture

What do you mean? plz Explain...I am not familiar with the animal kingdom's way of doing anything lol. But I am definitely interested!!! Smile

TASHA1983's picture

My BF doesnt deal with BM texts, I do, but she doesnt know it's me. My BF and I are a UNITED front when it comes to bm/skid bullshit & drama that they seem to bring with them at every turn. The only time he has to be anywhere near her is when they do pick up and drop off but my BF always stays in his truck. He never talks to her etc. He completely loathes her!!!

BM & skid have no power or control with him or us. She gets shut right the fuck up or ignored whenever she starts her shit. As it SHOULD BE!

However, when I know that he is getting skid and he has him EOWE unless either they or my BF needs to cancel I do feel how you ladies do. It's not that I am not "into him" or sexually attracted to him it's just that knowing that I have to give up my man & our time together because he has his loser kid puts me in a bitter and resentful mood so I kinda take it out on my BF by not talking to him as much via phone/text or not replying/answering to his texts/calls etc. (I refuse to be around when he has skid) I know it isnt right or nice to do that to the man I love but I cant help but loathing his fucking kid and bm because if it werent for them BF and I would have thee best life and relationship Sad

Honey Baby2's picture

Ugh, yeah. This evening BM came by to drop off cold meds/hang out w/ kid in HIS house. He NEVER ONCE stops by her house on the weekends (when she's supposed to have the kid) to hang w/ son. She plops her big butt down in his house and makes herself at home, and complains about everything! She leaves and he sends me a text like let's get it on, I'm like, ummmmm no thanks. There's Nooooooooooooooo way that's gonna happen. I need bitch's essence to dissolve for a day or two before I even think about that.

maree80's picture

It's funny I was only thinking this the other day! I love my DH, but lately haven't been feeling attracted to him, and we have gone from making love 3-4 times a week, to once or twice a fortnight!! I'm beginning to wonder if it's because of all the shit that comes along with being a SM to his 8 year old son!

For the most part I hate being a SM...even the 2 weeks (we do 2 weeks on/2 weeks off) where SS8 is supposed to be with his Mum, she drops him off to me every f***en day so I can take him to school!! Plus we have him all this weekend as well even though it's supposed to be her time!!! I feel resentment towards DH, his ExW and SS8 because when I am supposed to have MY 2 week break from my SS, I have to see him every F***en day!!! Could also be the fact that I'm good enough to do all the extra favours ie. take him to school, soccer practice, homework etc. but heaven forbid I think I have a say in where he goes to High School (BM told him last year that I had no say in where he went to school) or any other decisions that need to be made!!!

Then there's the flip DD's 14 live with us full time and that's often been brought up in arguments between my DH and I... he feels that he should be able to have his son whenever he wants as my girls are with us 100% of the time!! And I know he loves my girls (obviously not like he loves his son) but I just can't bring myself to feel a lot of love for his!!


TASHA1983's picture get NO say in anything skid related YET you are EXPECTED to pick him up, drop him off, yadda yadda yadda? Is that correct?

You are thee PERFECT candidate for DISENGAGING in my book!
Tell your "wonderful" dh and his xw that THEY can pick him up, bring him to his practices, and no longer make yourself available to watch THEIR kid when it is HER time to have him. PERIOD!!!!

You are not a babysitter, chauffeur, etc. you are HIS WIFE!!! Plain and simple.