I had to have a talk with DH about exactly that this summer while all the kids were on vacation.

I have 2 bios, he has 2 bios, we share none.

I work from home (thank goodness because I have no 'ME' time in the morning to get ready for work anyway)

I get up
I wake the kids up
I take breakfast orders
I start breakfast
I start lunches (5 lunches)
I make coffee
I serve breakfast
I remind kids to pack lunches
I ensure everyone has backpacks, homework, lunch packed and are out the door on time

DH:
was getting up whenever he felt like it
wanders into the kitchen, pours himself some ready made coffee
checks his emails, his facebook, watches some news on the PC while drinking coffee
wanders in and sees what everyone is eating for breakfast, asks me if I want some toast, I say no, no time, so he wanders around waiting for his toast
I throw the toast in for him since he is wandering and not making himself any since I said no
he eats, takes a nice shower
checks his facebook\emails\Pc again
then starts shouting for SS7 to be ready, he is going to be late and they rush out the door

This summer, I reminded DH that there are 4 kids in this house and 2 are NOT mine. I told him i would no longer be making his lunch, I was already making everyone elses and he wasn't even helping with that, I would also no longer be making his breakfast, I was making for the kids already. i told him he needed to step up and help out - that I wasn't quite sure how I inherited the duties for all but it was not fair and he had to start contributing. Of course i was nicer about it but you get the point.

DH now gets up, he helps making lunches, breakfast is still out though, he does make himself toast and usually leaves without a lunch for himself.

I work anywhere from 30-55 hours a week depending on the week from home. I am not able to start until 9AM most days with all the morning routine before I actually sit for good to start really working, kids and skids start showing up at 3PM - which for me means I still have another 2-3 hours many days to complete my work for the day, I make dinner alone 95% of the time for 6 people. I run my bios to their after school activities - luckily most places have internet and I am able to complete my work from the activity facility. I also pick up SS7 from after school care (which was one of the summer issues - last year I was tasked with picking him up from school at 315 at least 3 days a week - I said NO MORE - I can't I have work to do) so now I pick him up closer to 6pm which helps a lot yet I am still the one picking him up somehow.

So although things are better, its still a long road to get DH to pull his own weight.

I recently took on a little more work (yeah I know, dumb but it pays well and its temporary) you want to know what DH said? Now that you are going to be working more, I want the house cleaner so lets hire a maid.

So apparently, it was in DH's head that the house was my responsibility - how absurd is that?!?! I bit my tongue and told him to go for it. Also, just so you know, I had disengaged from cleaning up after SS7 and DH - they leave shit everywhere - and THAT is likely the result of him wanting to pay for someone to clean up after him and his son since the house has been a pigsty - so my disengagement didn't make DH engage, it made him decide to pay someone to clean up his mess. SIGH

Baby steps girl - you started by planting the seed, don't make his lunch anymore - remind him you are NOT his mother but his partner and ask him the last time HE made YOU lunch.

I must say I'm thankful for DH in this regard that he readily shares in household duties, even though I work from home now. The job transfer for him resulted in me working from home all of the time vs the 50% of the time I used to work in office and at home. When I worked in the office, he'd take care of himself largely and me. I suppose that's one good thing from BM--she never did sh*t for him so he knew how to take care of himself and expected nothing unusual from me. Lol

He'll make breakfast, put away laundry after I do it, wash dishes after I cook, cleans up after his brat if I don't beat him to it and make brat clean up after his own lazy self. He vacuums and cleans the bathtubs and I dust and mop, etc so we do share duties without a real negotiation. He works a physical job and I work long mentally draining hours so we try not to be a hardship on each other.

I think if you stopped catering to him and stopped hoping he'll one day do something for you, he'll lose the power he has to pout and upset you. He's come to expect what you do and yes takes advantage and for granted. When you feel like making breakfast and lunch, do it. If you don't or don't have time, don't. Feed the baby, feed yourself. If he complains, tell him to hire a maid to come in once per week to do the laundry, dusting, etc. Or feel free to tell him you can't do it all by yourself anymore, that you are tired and hurting and that you are done being Superwoman. Or you can do as he does and just ignore him... When we're not listened to, begging or screaming rarely works--must resolve and take action and let the cards fall as they may... usually you'll find them falling in your favor...

If you work from home and have kids, hire a maid. Yep. DH was never a big pain in the ass about the house thing, yet he did kind of feel that since I was home...blah, blah, blah...So, after two weeks of working I told him I was hiring a maid...and I did. She comes once a week and my week is SOOOOO much better than before. The money I pay out to her is NOTHING in comparison to the peace I feel with a clean home and not stressed that I haven't done this or that.

If your DH is on board, then definitely hire someone. If you split your finances, you should BOTH contribute to it equally. If you don't split finances, then just take it out o the family budget. Just cut back on something else.