Is anyone else married to a DH who gets angry at "you", because of BM?!
This is it. After last night, and the way DH 'sided' with his ex, that did it. SS8 has TWO parents? So, SS8 came over yesterday and I had 'thought' that he had school clothes in the dryer for the next day, but apparently they had been taken back home. OK, A: Honestly, this is not MY responsibility, right? B: Shouldn't the parents double check just to make sure that THEIR child has what they need and not lay all responsibilities on the step-whatever?
I mean, I have my hands full already with BS1 and DH's 'laundry' has sat in the dryer now, for a WHOLE WEEK because I had come to him, over and over and begged him to help out a wee bit, with just 'his' weight around the house. Big deal, right? I'm not this man's mother. I AM a mother... So, DH, of course, got VERY mad at me, after I had mentioned the clothes sitch much earlier on that day to him, but he went to sleep in the afternoon, for THREE hours as HIS son roamed the streets, the entire time. Did he look then? NO. So, I go to DH and say, "I have no idea as to where your son is", and he just mumbles something. He got up finally and it was almost dinner time. (what is the visitation even for?)
Again, back to the subject; DH FINALLY looked for clothes, got mad at me???, and runs outside to call his ex-wife, He said to her, "SS8 does not have any school clothes", and BM must have said, "Butterfly told me that he did", because I heard DH say back to her; "I know that SHE said that."
Now, THAT PISSED ME OFF. This is NOT MY KID? Why am I the monster here and they should both be kissing my ass anyways. I taught THEIR son how to wash his own HAIR last night even?
Deep breath here... So, DH is saying all of this really mean crap to me, because the two of them can't get their shit together. Why does this kid not have some of his OWN clothes here? WHY can they both pack up a damn Wii game in a huge suitcase, but forget his clothes and backpack and WHY does MY husband turn around and be submissive to his ex-wife in these matters and verbally abuse ME, like I am actually THEIR son's BM?
Does anybody else see this screwed up pattern? It ONLY happens when SS8 is here and his ex-wife is screwing up somehow. Then, DH will try to go back being 'nice', like nothing ever happened.
It also llooks like to me now that SS8 will ALWAYS be 1st in his life, DH will ALWAYS cower to BM and somewhere down there, you might find me and BS1.
No thanks. I'll be planning a way out of this screwed up 'marriage', with BS1. NO WAY I want BS1 around this type of immaturity.
I could use some support and advice here from you guys. I'm not happy. I was crying last night, (stupid) and asking DH "Why are you so angry at me? SS8 has a mom? THIS ISN'T my RESPONSIBILITY?!"
He gave me a very scary look, and did not say a word to me . He wouldn't want to look bad in front of SS8 and perhaps THEIR son might hear what morons they are for once instead of "pretending", like they both do in his presence. Wow. Now, DH has said to me, "It's OVER with us." He likesw to hurt me, doesn't he? I think I'll take him up on that offer. If he is willing to destroy this family because of BM and SS8, no thanks, BS1 and myself will just pick up the pieces and move on.
The right thing for DH to do/say would have been this; "It's OK. BM and myself should have made sure that our son had school clothing here. I know sweetie that you have been overwhelmed here with taking care of BS1, working. I'll go over and grab some clothes."