Mine does to sometimes. He is getting better about catching it. He says things like when your a parent you will understand. When you have kids you will get it......What do you call what I am doing right now??
He doesn't really do that because I do have my own children,,, BUT,,, we do fight alot over "mine" and "yours" we are constantly compairing kids,
I can rip on mine all I want everyday if I want,, but if HE rips on mine ...LOOK OUT,, and I'm just as nasty with his,, to top it all off He has an EX in the picture,, mine died so he's not a fight at all,, so we do argue about kids and parenting skills,, just because your noy a parent doesn't mean anything,, because we who have kids screw up to,,
I was just reading an old email from last month that he sent to me. I asked him why it takes him a week to call or text me back. His response went something like:
"I have 2 kids. I don't expect u to know what it's like to have kids since u don't have any of your own. But if u ever do, u will find out that they are time consuming. I don't have time to text you everyday. My kids are my priority"
Geesh. I wasn't asking for a daily text, I asked why it takes him a week + to text me back. Reasonable question IMHO.
And a couple other things that used to bother me that I reckon I'll get off my chest..... We used to work together on the same unit (it's where we met). When we first began dating, one of our younger coworkers made the comment that she wants kids, but she wants a C-Section b/c she doesn't want to go through the pain of a vaginal delivery. He said "Oh but it's such a celebration of life for the father to actually watch his child being born. I was there with my camcorder. It's a celebration of life." Uggh. Not a visual I needed.
And then he's alway making comments about how "Mothers are special" and that's why he is peaceful with his babies mamas. he wants his kids to grow up and show their mothers respect, so he is trying to set the stage. Gaaag.
Raindrop, you should have stayed GONE when you broke up the first time from this moron. I'm KICKING myself for not having broken up the first time GG wanted to and pulled a hissy fit.
Odds of these guilty daddies changing are so low you'd have a better chance of winning the lottery three times in a row.
Yeah he sounds like he sucks. Start speaking up. I tell SO I don't want to hear about his previous experiences with his ex. He has told me all the stories at least once, now I don't have to hear them anymore.
Tell him you know children are time consuming, because you never hear from him. If its so difficult to divide his time, then you certainly don't want to be a burden. See you around.
Mine used to say such things...should've ran for the hills! Instead now that I have a child I laugh as all the things he used to say to me have exploded in his face! ie you don't understand she calls 20 times a day because she's a mom and ALL moms do that...so I have left our son w/him to travel for work and I don't call 20 times a day...so he didn't punish his daughter cause idiot bm didn't want him to and he didn't want to upset her, and "I would understand when I was a mother"...so I do upset my son if I have to, by punishing him if he gets an attitude & I don't let him dictate what we do...and everyone talks about how polite he is and well, he and crazy witch have a loser 16yr old baby mama teen who is in 9th grade & barely attends school...and sleeps w/every idiot she meets...and now, I laugh and tell him how much I knew about being a mom w/out having a kid and how little they knew and still don't know.
I do have grown bios that I successfully raised on my own, w/o CS and w/o alienating the fathers (married twice)
And GG, who is a guilty daddy and defends the BM and her family to his last dying breath as well as his ne'er do well skids who are being free ranged, continues to criticize me and make me feel like i"m a non-parent.
So you see, it's not so much YOUR personal situation,(whether you have bios or not) it's the way your DH/SO/biodad handles his OWN situation; 99% of the time it is SHEER PROJECTION!!
stbxDH tried so hard to avoid making comments that would make me feel bad about having no children.but i could tell it was always just under the surface.
What is it with people who think you're not a real woman unless you've had a baby tear your lady bits to pieces in childbirth??
"you aren't a perfect parent"
"I don't need to take parenting advice from YOU"
"these are MY kids and I'll (non)parent them the way I see fit!"
etc. etc.
NO matter WHAT the sitch, the guilty daddy will find ways of putting you down and placating the almighty "mother of my children" (TM)
My DH hasn't SAID it to me, but I SEE it on his face when we argue......
He thinks because I am not a bioMother ( yet !) I cannot understand.....I have a work history which is childcare related of over 10 years !!
Sometimes I hate the word....StepMother...like it's something you just gently stepped into, full of rainbows and Brady Bunch experiences, huh, it felt more like LEAPING into a great dark chasm of the unknown !!!!!!
I make comments like - "Big deal...cats give birth...horses...elephants...animals...what makes us squeezing kids out of our vajayjay so special?" And then I remind him how when and IF I ever have children...it won't be because someone (I don't say Him so it's a lower blow) accidentally knocked me up...yup...I rub that in too. and then I tell him how great of a person I am for not bringing a child into this world that I cannot afford...so I won't be another bottomfeeder who refuses to work andbe on welfare, WICK, and anything else you can get (I do think Wick is a good cause) You should start saying snarky things like that...- once we went to the maternity ward to visit my BFF who just had her baby...and he decided to show me what delivery room one of the girls was born in? I looked at him and said...hmm...there's no fire in there - it looks nothing like hell to me? I had to listen to his mother talk about the birthing of her grandchildren for 2 years before I started to stand up for myself - I have some recent posts where SHE said incredibly nasty things to me about not baring children...oh and for the record - I don't see birthing a child as an accomplishment I think it's a biological factor that we are just capable of and babies are as much miracles as kittens or puppies- I also raised my niece and nephew as newborns up until they were about 4 and 6...just when I thought it was over...these little hellians came along. I just feel like uh...No one should ever say things like that to you - AND make you feel like your LESS. Start writing down some things to say!
Exactly! Couldn't have said it better myself! I don't understand why he thinks BM has a uterus made of gold when she can't even make sure her own children are bathed properly. I have to give him credit for not saying it very often, but when he does he always sounds like he feels sorry for me for not getting knocked up in college.
I have a son older than my skids so H could never use that against me. In fact, he's said numerous times that I am a better mother than BM could ever dream to be. I know that, I have my own eyes.
BUT when he was drunk and we were fighting (funny how those went hand in hand), he said something about me not being a "real woman." I guess the fact that I had my tubes tied and wouldn't have it reversed to have a baby with him affected him more than he let on.
Luckily for HIM, he's sober now and has not been mean like that since he quit drinking. Because this REAL WOMAN can take care of herself and that includes not being shit on by drunken fools!
Mine does to sometimes. He is
Mine does to sometimes. He is getting better about catching it. He says things like when your a parent you will understand. When you have kids you will get it......What do you call what I am doing right now??
UGH!!!! I HATE when my SO
UGH!!!! I HATE when my SO does that. He catches himself now and says "I know you hate when I say this.." then I say "well don't!"
**STANDING UP CLAPPING**
**STANDING UP CLAPPING**
BRAVO!!!
He doesn't really do that
He doesn't really do that because I do have my own children,,, BUT,,, we do fight alot over "mine" and "yours" we are constantly compairing kids,
I can rip on mine all I want everyday if I want,, but if HE rips on mine ...LOOK OUT,, and I'm just as nasty with his,, to top it all off He has an EX in the picture,, mine died so he's not a fight at all,, so we do argue about kids and parenting skills,, just because your noy a parent doesn't mean anything,, because we who have kids screw up to,,
Mine would never do that. I
Mine would never do that. I truly am blessed with him. He does something, big or small, every day to make sure that I feel important
I was just reading an old
I was just reading an old email from last month that he sent to me. I asked him why it takes him a week to call or text me back. His response went something like:
"I have 2 kids. I don't expect u to know what it's like to have kids since u don't have any of your own. But if u ever do, u will find out that they are time consuming. I don't have time to text you everyday. My kids are my priority"
Geesh. I wasn't asking for a daily text, I asked why it takes him a week + to text me back. Reasonable question IMHO.
And a couple other things that used to bother me that I reckon I'll get off my chest..... We used to work together on the same unit (it's where we met). When we first began dating, one of our younger coworkers made the comment that she wants kids, but she wants a C-Section b/c she doesn't want to go through the pain of a vaginal delivery. He said "Oh but it's such a celebration of life for the father to actually watch his child being born. I was there with my camcorder. It's a celebration of life." Uggh. Not a visual I needed.
And then he's alway making comments about how "Mothers are special" and that's why he is peaceful with his babies mamas. he wants his kids to grow up and show their mothers respect, so he is trying to set the stage. Gaaag.
Raindrop, you should have
Raindrop, you should have stayed GONE when you broke up the first time from this moron. I'm KICKING myself for not having broken up the first time GG wanted to and pulled a hissy fit.
Odds of these guilty daddies changing are so low you'd have a better chance of winning the lottery three times in a row.
Yeah he sounds like he sucks.
Yeah he sounds like he sucks. Start speaking up. I tell SO I don't want to hear about his previous experiences with his ex. He has told me all the stories at least once, now I don't have to hear them anymore.
Tell him you know children are time consuming, because you never hear from him. If its so difficult to divide his time, then you certainly don't want to be a burden. See you around.
Mine has never done that, in
Mine has never done that, in fact he has told me I am a better mother to my SD's than the BM.
You must be either: New in
You must be either:
New in the relationship (less than 2 years)
OR
One of those rarist of rare, extremely lucky breed that has the biodad on the same page as you (probably less than 1%)
Mine used to say such
Mine used to say such things...should've ran for the hills! Instead now that I have a child I laugh as all the things he used to say to me have exploded in his face! ie you don't understand she calls 20 times a day because she's a mom and ALL moms do that...so I have left our son w/him to travel for work and I don't call 20 times a day...so he didn't punish his daughter cause idiot bm didn't want him to and he didn't want to upset her, and "I would understand when I was a mother"...so I do upset my son if I have to, by punishing him if he gets an attitude & I don't let him dictate what we do...and everyone talks about how polite he is and well, he and crazy witch have a loser 16yr old baby mama teen who is in 9th grade & barely attends school...and sleeps w/every idiot she meets...and now, I laugh and tell him how much I knew about being a mom w/out having a kid and how little they knew and still don't know.
I do have grown bios that I
I do have grown bios that I successfully raised on my own, w/o CS and w/o alienating the fathers (married twice)
And GG, who is a guilty daddy and defends the BM and her family to his last dying breath as well as his ne'er do well skids who are being free ranged, continues to criticize me and make me feel like i"m a non-parent.
So you see, it's not so much YOUR personal situation,(whether you have bios or not) it's the way your DH/SO/biodad handles his OWN situation; 99% of the time it is SHEER PROJECTION!!
Amen! Raindrop, dear, you
Amen! Raindrop, dear, you tried a second time with this dolt and as you can see, he's still the same guilty douche!!
Dump him and find a nice CHILDLESS man!!
stbxDH tried so hard to avoid
stbxDH tried so hard to avoid making comments that would make me feel bad about having no children.but i could tell it was always just under the surface.
What is it with people who think you're not a real woman unless you've had a baby tear your lady bits to pieces in childbirth??
It's just another guilty
It's just another guilty daddy mantra.
If you DO have kids you hear:
"you aren't a perfect parent"
"I don't need to take parenting advice from YOU"
"these are MY kids and I'll (non)parent them the way I see fit!"
etc. etc.
NO matter WHAT the sitch, the guilty daddy will find ways of putting you down and placating the almighty "mother of my children" (TM)
So how's your new found freedom, Asher?
I am SOOOOO jealous!
My DH hasn't SAID it to me,
My DH hasn't SAID it to me, but I SEE it on his face when we argue......
He thinks because I am not a bioMother ( yet !) I cannot understand.....I have a work history which is childcare related of over 10 years !!
Sometimes I hate the word....StepMother...like it's something you just gently stepped into, full of rainbows and Brady Bunch experiences, huh, it felt more like LEAPING into a great dark chasm of the unknown !!!!!!
I make comments like - "Big
I make comments like - "Big deal...cats give birth...horses...elephants...animals...what makes us squeezing kids out of our vajayjay so special?" And then I remind him how when and IF I ever have children...it won't be because someone (I don't say Him so it's a lower blow) accidentally knocked me up...yup...I rub that in too. and then I tell him how great of a person I am for not bringing a child into this world that I cannot afford...so I won't be another bottomfeeder who refuses to work andbe on welfare, WICK, and anything else you can get (I do think Wick is a good cause) You should start saying snarky things like that...- once we went to the maternity ward to visit my BFF who just had her baby...and he decided to show me what delivery room one of the girls was born in? I looked at him and said...hmm...there's no fire in there - it looks nothing like hell to me? I had to listen to his mother talk about the birthing of her grandchildren for 2 years before I started to stand up for myself - I have some recent posts where SHE said incredibly nasty things to me about not baring children...oh and for the record - I don't see birthing a child as an accomplishment I think it's a biological factor that we are just capable of and babies are as much miracles as kittens or puppies- I also raised my niece and nephew as newborns up until they were about 4 and 6...just when I thought it was over...these little hellians came along. I just feel like uh...No one should ever say things like that to you - AND make you feel like your LESS. Start writing down some things to say!
Exactly! Couldn't have said
Exactly! Couldn't have said it better myself! I don't understand why he thinks BM has a uterus made of gold when she can't even make sure her own children are bathed properly. I have to give him credit for not saying it very often, but when he does he always sounds like he feels sorry for me for not getting knocked up in college.
I have a son older than my
I have a son older than my skids so H could never use that against me. In fact, he's said numerous times that I am a better mother than BM could ever dream to be. I know that, I have my own eyes.
BUT when he was drunk and we were fighting (funny how those went hand in hand), he said something about me not being a "real woman." I guess the fact that I had my tubes tied and wouldn't have it reversed to have a baby with him affected him more than he let on.
Luckily for HIM, he's sober now and has not been mean like that since he quit drinking. Because this REAL WOMAN can take care of herself and that includes not being shit on by drunken fools!
"no, I but I do know what
"no, I but I do know what it's like to be responsible and use a condom." }:)