It's not an attack.
BM is impossible to coparent with.
SO contacted her because one of the kid has had an ongoing sniffle for over a month now.
3 visits ago it didn't concern us at all. Last visit we noticed it was still happening.
This weekend we realized it's still going on and maybe we should be concerned.
It's not a big deal just a little sniffly but the fact that it's still there was why he contacted her.
In one breath she says she's been giving the kid otc meds for almost a week. In the next she yelling about his he didn't tell her about it..... ummm seems like you already knew and a sniffle alone isn't enough go call home about.
Again it's a sniffle which isn't anything alone but the fact it's not stopped is the concern. Then to find out the kids been getting meds for a week and she didn't care to tell us but wants to yell about him not contacting her two weeks ago like its a broken leg?
This is everything he contacts her about. She denies there's a problem, then admits there is, then tries to blame him or after saying she's been doing something about it tried to claim it only happens at our place so must be us.
I'll add his contact is "Hey I noticed X seems to have an ongoing sniffle." But oh no he's a horrible person.
I have backed off a bit and realized she may not actively be causing issues BUT she's an idiot who makes it impossible for there to be any consistency or communcation between the homes.
And this is something that coparent needs to happen. I feel the kid should see a doctor just to ensure it's nothing but urgent care is over the top.
I just wish she didn't treat everything like an attack.
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This is BM. She too thinks
This is BM. She too thinks everything is an attack. She was so aggressive and paranoid. Horrible to deal with.
Thank god those days are done as she lost custody. Now we just get to hear crap she says about us when SD and her talk on the phone.
Ontop of this SO is trying to
Ontop of this SO is trying to find out who is picking up the kids this weekend since she is honestly never able to.
Yes we go through this visit. Why does she have to get snippy and can't just tell us "X will be there."
Yes 9 times out of 10 it's the same person but why is attitude needed just to know who's going to show up. Let's add the person who mainly shows up has a history of random ER visits that could randomly prevent them.
Let alone it's just nice to know for sure since we know it won't be BM and others have shown up before.
Sounds familiar. Anytime DH
Sounds familiar. Anytime DH contacts BM about anything doing with the kids, her response is always, "You're only saying this because you hate me!" "I'm a good mother. You're only saying this because you're mean and you hate me!"
If she gets caught in an actual lie, she responds in typical teenage fashion. First by saying "you're only saying that because you hate me!" Then changing her story. Then trying to convince DH she did not in fact, change her story.
I now try to convince DH not to contact her for anything, even if it seems valid, because I can't deal with her adolescent responses. It annoys me that an adult still tries to deal with other adults like a teenager. I didn't even really like teenagers when I was a teenager.
She also tries to manipulate DH into getting him to do things she wants. If she wants him to take the kids for an extra weekend, she'll start by telling him that she can't believe he doesn't want to see his children more and if she were him, she'd be so sad that she only saw the kids every other weekend. When he ignores her, she'll come back and say "actually, it would be really helpful if you could take the kids this weekend." The last time she scheduled something over DH's weekend, she told him as if he had already started a fight about it. She said something like, "we'll be on vacation on your next weekend, but if you plan to make an issue out of it, I'll just bring the kids home early because I'm not interested in fighting with you!" I want to call her myself and say, "listen, if you plan to ask someone for a favor, you don't insult them first." But since I don't talk to her, I don't do this.
Oh she tries that change
Oh she tries that change story crap. That's why I LOVE the parenting app. He just shoots her back the messages relevant and leaves it to that.
As for contact the thing is this is medical so they really have to communicate. It would be over the top to take the kid to urgent care and going to a doctor twice just because she won't communicate is rediculaus.
" "Hey I noticed X seems to
" "Hey I noticed X seems to have an ongoing sniffle."
As innocent as that sounds to you or me or anyone at least half way 'normal', it is attacking to a high conflict person that is suspicious of Dad's motives to start with.
It implies to BM as 'since you haven't bothered to notice the kid is STILL sniffing'
No, of course, that's not at all what Dad texted, but the woman is being defensive because they are going through a divorce and for quite a while they were playing 'gotcha' between the two of them.
So, yeah, 'ongoing sniffle' set her haunches up.
Don't worry abut it. She attacks because she is not MOTY and she knows it. Dad just isn't suppose to call her out on it. LOL. She could have just as easily informed Dad on pick-up that kiddo was still having sniffles and she has been giving kiddo _________ from OTC. Dad could have dropped by drug store and looked for product or asked pharmacy about perhaps something they recommend .
If no coughing, sore throat nor fever, nor the nose isn't running thick discolored snot it could be sinuses. I run a vaporizer this time of year. My nose likes to run when I come in from the cold to the warm. If BM or Dad calls the dr office they may or may not want to see the kid. Actually this time of year every sick kid in town is sitting in a drs office which could give the kid something he/she doesn't already have.
Dad really is just going to have to suck it up on the times he must communicate with BM. She isn't going to get any nicer and she doesn't want to co-parent with him to begin with. He's aware of the sniff that isn't going away and he mentioned it to her. How she reacts to the communication is her problem. She is who she is, she isn't going to change.
I am surprised she didn't say
I am surprised she didn't say to DH "well I thought YOU would want to take him to the doctors. WHY DIDNT YOU XDH ?? ss was with you wasn't he?"
That is on page 37 of the SINGLE MOM hand book.
**Even if the BM is re- married, she is still a single mom don't you know**
BM allow SO to take the kids
BM allow SO to take the kids to the doctor?
Yeah that won't happen. She has done everything she can to prevent him from being able to see a professional with the children even going against medical advice in the past.
The few times he has been able to take them she moved heaven and earth to make sure she was there too then bragged about how amazing their coparenting was.
No she does everything she can to prevent him from finding out about anything expect that she repeatly seeks sympathy on Facebook and plasters the children's medical information all over it which is how he does find out when the kids are sick or even in the ER.
Of course she wont let him
Of course she wont let him take 'her' child to the Dr's.
That is why I am surprised she didn't ask WHY didn't he. LOL
THATS what they do...........