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SS17, College & BM (long)

BettyRay's picture

So we spent the weekend visiting XYZ University. SS17 has been accepted there. It’s in another state about a 6-hour drive from our city. And when I say we I mean BM, BM’s SO, SS17, SS13 and DH and I – yes my friends the whole freak show.

Of course we stayed in a different hotel and DH got us a really nice suite and we went sightseeing, ate at an expensive restaurant etc. DH turned it into a mini-break holiday for me Smile

But the campus visit was excruciating because of BM and her SO. The only reason we went was because SS17 wanted us there and originally we had planned on taking him. Here are some of my observations:

- BM fell asleep during the welcome/orientation portion. :jawdrop:
- When not sleeping BM and her SO were constantly on their smart phones – so they were physically present but mentally checked out.
- BM’s SO assumed we’d take the boys for the evening so they could go out to dinner. When BM told him no that it was her weekend with the boys, her SO was upset. (I can relate to his frustration )
- SS13 hung out with DH and I all day – which in the past he ignores us when BM is around.
- SS17 chose to sit next to me at orientation, as in BM saved him a seat next to her and SS17 walked passed BM , her SO, SS13 and DH and sat next to me.
- It looks like SS17 is totally playing DH and BM, more like triangulating. DH and BM have no clue what is going on with regards to SS17 and college because SS17 is telling each of them different things.

I liked this university better than ABC University. The campus is small and the labs were bigger with newer equipment; also it was very clean - even the dorm rooms. The tuition at XYZ University is uber expensive. But then so is the tuition at the other university, ABC University, SS17 was accepted at. ABC University is in our city so SS17 could be a commuter student. SS17 also received a full scholarship to any technical/trade school in our state renewable for 3-years. He has some decisions to make. The acceptance deadline for XYZ and ABC universities is May 1.

BM just filed FAFSA so SS17 doesn't know what kind of financial aid he’s getting. So frustrating.

Personally, if I were SS17 I’d go the tech school route and then transfer to university to finish a degree. He could finish his trade degree in a year (because he’s in a dual program with HS/tech college this year so SS17’s half way to a trade degree) then get the technical degree he’s intending on majoring in at university. Get that Associate’s degree and then transfer to uber expensive university for his Bachelor’s degree. SS17 could do this in 5-years. Having paid tuition for the last 2-years at university and he’d end up with 3 degrees. Plus he's have very little debt. But what do I know.

BM is really pushing him hard to attend ABC University because she likes to name drop and this school is well known in our city.

~BettyRay

Comments

BettyRay's picture

I hate it when we're all together. I do it for DH. On the outside I'm fine but inside I'm ripping my hair out.

Since I started working out regularly and made the goal of looking better then BM it's a lot easier.

My mantra: "On my worst day I am going to look better than BM on her best day." Wink

~BettyRay

BettyRay's picture

It is a freak show - I felt sorry for SS17. I keep thinking if that were me and I was his age I'd just want to be there with my mom and dad. Instead he's got 4 adults and his little brother tagging along with him.

~BettyRay

BettyRay's picture

broken.lost - I get so sick of BM not paying attention during kid events, she's always effing around on her phone. I'm really big on being present in the moment, being respectful of other people by paying attention to them.

College - why spend all that money? Why not save it and go to a 2-year campus or tech school and then transfer. Save money, why graduate with student loans the size of a house payment?

And the sad thing is BM has SS17 brainwashed to think that if he doesn't go to university right out of HS he'll miss out on all the "free money". In her head the free money is the merit merit awards universities offer incoming freshmen to make tuition more affordable. It's also gives BM something to brag about. DH said that BM was telling everyone at SS13's conferences, " I can't believe SS17 was accepted at ABC University and was smart enough to received scholarship award." DH said like :sick:

~BettyRay

BettyRay's picture

BM's comments about debt, "It won't matter because that field he wants to get into has high paying jobs so he'll be able to pay any loans off fast."

Well what if the job market in that field tanks?
What if he changes his major?
What if he flunks out of school?

Just as long as BM can brag it's okay.

~BettyRay