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ashica's picture

I don't know how to explain this, but I am so irritated and I don't understand how this seems to always fall when my husband and I always plan something.

My husband and I had an unplanned pregnancy in 2013, and had a miscarriage at 13 weeks March 2013. Since then, we have been trying, and trying, and trying. I had to get D&C performed because my body didn't recognize I had a miscarriage. Though, I have read everywhere it seems like that D&C's can throw your horomoones off balance. So a month ago, we decided that we would try to see a doctor to see if they could test to see where my levels are.

My doctors appointment is Wednesday. He and I planned to go together. Now, his exwife asked him to watch their youngest while she goes on 2 interviews because shes moving back down closer since my husband threatened to take her to court because she moved without anyone's permission and took the kids, refuses to give an address.. etc.. (another story)

But everytime, My husband and I plan something in advance, its like she calls and ruins our date. OR gets the kids involved. This means a whole lot to me, and now he isn't going to watch their youngest. Yes, his youngest... She is 2 yrs old. Questions: How is it he has a 2 yr old?

Well to answer the question, he left for deployment and she cheated on him, sent him a dear John letter n had divorce papers when he came back. He didn't know the youngest was his until she was 16 months old and he did a DNA test to prove. My husband and I have been married 1 yr and almost together for 2 years. I say 2 years because its easier. I rekindled with him when he was divorced.

But anyways,

I don't know why I get so angry or irritated. But every time him and I plan something special, its like perfect timing to ruin our time. Its not posted on any social media.

He won't decline to watch her. I already asked.

So now I am debating on cancelling it and saying screw it... (thats how irritated I am Sad


QueenBeau's picture

I see where you're coming from but I disagree.

She moved without taking the proper legal action - that's on her. She's not moving back because "he wants her to" she's moving back so she doesn't risk losing custody for moving & not giving him the address. He should say not to this request, BM woudl probably just find a sitter. She won't now because she doesn't have to, but she definitely could. He could easily say "sorry, I have a doctors appt."

Do they have to keep rearranging their schedule everytime this BM decides to break the CO & then has to spend time fixing her mistake.

QueenBeau's picture

I wasn't arguing, I was just saying (as I began the post)- I see what you're saying but I disagree. Letting OP know that some people see it both ways. I see your logic, but I also see her frustration. No need to get so snippy.

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised to see a post from OP in a couple weeks saying it was all a lie & BM didn't go on any interviews. -shrugs-

As I said below OP, yoru DH is to blame. You probably wouldn't feel as upset if your DH included you on the decision before he jumped up and said Yes to BM & therefore made it so you need to reschedule your appointment without any input from you. It should have been "BM, that may work - let me talk to my wife & get back to you." Or "Let me check my schedule & get back to you tomorrow" so you guys could talk about it.

If it's a specialist appointment, there's no saying how long it took OP to get the appointment or how long they would ahve to wait if they rescheduled. So, I would say try to fmake the best of this. can skid go to a family members house for a few hours so you can keep the appointment?

ashica's picture

I guess, he doesn't always say Yes in some occassions, but since he got laid off and doesn't see his kids when he likes too, he always jumps to the gun and doesn't think when we have plans. I think thats the frustrating part. He is a great husband, great step father, and father. I just feel this is my only way to vent on here. I stopped venting on social media like face book, because people kept starting gossip and "drama" by twisting my words.

It helps for the input of others, and I don't feel as I am talking to myself.. Smile

As for his exwife, I told him a few weeks ago, not to vent to me about her shit because I don't care nor want to hear about her and her stupid decisions. If she needed anything, I am one person that WILL not help, I don't care if you guys have kids together. She has had so much drama, I am so over it. N since I told him no more of her, he respects.. its been peaceful.

DaizyDuke's picture

This^^^ I promise if your DH simply says "no, I'm sorry, but I can not watch SD today, I already have an appointment that I can not miss" BM will find SOMEONE to watch SD.