OT: SIL just told me she had a miscarriage
As of tomorrow I'll be 24 weeks pregnant. DH's sister and her husband started trying to get pregnant around the same time we did. I got pregnant right away (DH is very fertile apparently) but it didn't happen for SIL for a while, so obviously we were all very excited when about 4 weeks ago she announced to close friends and family that she's expecting.
She and I spent the better part of the last month enthusing about our new babies and how close in age they'll be. Her husband even started turning their exercise room into a nursery. So imagine my surprise when I look at my phone and see a text from her saying she just left her OB and they said she miscarried sometime over the last week, and her D&C is scheduled for tomorrow.
My heart is totally broken for her, I know how badly she wanted another baby and losing a child at any stage of pregnancy has to be so hard. I want to help in any way I can, but I don't want to overstep any boundaries. My sister's best friend miscarried last year when she was pregnant, and the best friend had a really hard time being around her for a while after - she couldn't even come to the baby shower.
Does anyone here have experience dealing with a miscarriage? What kind of help is appropriate? I want to be as sensitive as possible because I know I would be a wreck if this happened to me...I don't want me being visibly pregnant to be a constant reminder of her loss but I also don't want to step back entirely and risk her feeling like I didn't help her through this difficult time. Any advice is much appreciated.