Teen skids- zero stars
I honestly don't think I could hate Step life more than I do right now. How is it getting worse instead of better??? Oh that's right, because we have 2 teens and teens absolutely suck.
Mon when skids came we tried to sit down for dinner at the table (rare) and it ended with them fighting and ruining the whole thing. DH and I looked at each other and DH said "well this was fun"... Both skids were moody all week. Then Fri night around midnight SS16 tells us he just got a text from Crazy saying SD13 had sent her a concerning text and SS should check on her. DH ends up talking to SD and she is bawling saying she doesn't want to do it anymore,etc... apparently the text she had sent to Crazy was something like "I'm not going to do anything now, but I think I might at some time". She's talking about suicide, which she's mentioned for like 9 months now? DH got her into counseling and she has had 3 sessions so far. (She's talked to 3 different psychologists/therapists who have all deemed she is not an immediate threat to herself). But, 10 mins prior to this text, SD and SS16 had gotten into a little spat again, and I'm pretty sure that's what sparked it. She can't handle when they fight. So DH is talking to her in her room and he's crying too and saying he loves her so much, etc. Apparently this week her current group of friends won't talk to her, and she's lonely and sad. DH told her she can always hang out in the living room with us, even if she's reading or on her phone with headphones on. He's told her this before repeatedly, but she will only do that if I'm not around, or if I'm home and DH isn't around- never when we're together. She calmed down and everyone went to bed, although DH basically cried himself to sleep. The next morning DH noticed he had a message from Crazy on OFW from midnight saying "I want to pick up SD right now". STFU. DH didn't even respond.
Yesterday SD text DH asking if we can do something that day. We have been taking her somewhere every wknd lately- bowling 3 times in 2 months, out to eat, shopping. We didn't feel like doing anything and he was taking her to her nephew's bball game today, so we decide we'll just play some games at home- Before we even get that far, Crazy sends DH another message on OFW saying "I can't believe you let SD sit in her room alone all day. Take her somewhere and do something instead of playing bored games (yes that's how she spells it)!! Take her ice skating or to get her nails done! She's depressed!". Gahhhhh. Ok first of all, life isn't Disneyland or parents taking you to do all the fun expensive things every wknd! We almost never went to do things that cost $ when I was young. You can still have fun doing things around the house! These kids go out to eat so much it isn't even a treat, it's just expected. 2nd, we are the only ones actually taking her suicidal thoughts seriously. WE got her into therapy, we bought a med safe, we talk to her about it and check in. Crazy won't do any of that and will only tell SD that "this is normal, all kids go through it and if you keep talking about it to your friends they won't like you anymore". SD says she can't talk to Crazy about it. Crazy's solution is to coddle and spoil her. DH didn't respond to that message either, but he's so sick of her constant messages he is thinking about filing for COC just to get her to STFU for a while.
So yesterday we played games for 2hrs, which was great. SD wanted to keep playing but we were both pretty much done. I made dinner, and then SD says, are we playing another game? FFS. We played for 2 HOURS already...we also cannot be playing games constantly!! I said I was done but of course DH played.
DH had told SD earlier, just so you know, just because you say you're sad, doesn't mean we're going to run out and do all these big activities. We can still hang out here and interact. Trying to set expectations since Crazy tells her that we don't care about her as much since we don't constantly take her places. Always shopping or roller skating. She also told skids she "doesn't touch the child support $ she gets, she puts it in a separate acct". BULLSH*T. She does not make enough $ to pay for rent, her brand-new SUV, her hair and nails, all the activities, only on her salary. DH pays $700/month. She is absolutely spending that.
Anyway, it's been a lot. Do I feel bad for SD and have compassion? Absolutely. I have felt how she's feeling. I talked to her and told her to remember this feeling will go away and she won't feel this way forever, that I love her and she's always welcome to talk or hang out. But it's also frustrating that now this is the 4TH group of friends this year alone who have completely cut her out and won't even talk to her. Teen girls suck, I know, but I still believe SD must have a part. And then we are left to fix it all and be the entertainment with these ridiculous expectations of constantly doing fun stuff. And one can only spend so much time with a 13yo before you are like okkkk I'm good for a while. Especially when it's not even your kid. The hope is when they are teens they become more independent, not needier. The whole situation just sucks and I reallly hope it gets better soon.
Meanwhile, DH had to yell as SS16 pretty hard on 2 separate occasions this week, and DH told me he's so sick of his attitude. SS has been lazy, doesn't want to work and makes excuses for everything, won't do anything self-initiated, and is frankly just a PITA. They leave tomorrow, but of course they don't have school tomorrow which means they'll be here most of the day.