You are here

No. It’s not just your skids.

MissK03's picture

I have a huge trigger when it comes to todays youth. Their sense of entitlement and lack of manners.

SS17 has his friends over often and it's not like one or two.. we are talking 6-10. 

None of them barely say hello. It's so frustrating. I just got home from work, let the dogs and they are playing volleyball in the back. So SS17, 3 male friends and 3 female friends. No one.. not even SS17 says hello. Instead the look at me (from a distance) like I don't belong. 

About two weeks ago a bunch of them were here for a fire and I was literally standing next to two girls I've never seen and SS17s gf while trying to get the dogs in... all I got was looked at...that's it.

SS17s core group of friends (besides one) never actually engage in conversation all the other times they have been here. 

Cinco de Mayo SO and I went out at a local place we go to for a quick margarita and this women (who he graduated high school with) was like "omg my kid says she's at your house  all the time!!" Side note: she was barely trying to talk to me only SO which was annoying AF in its self. BUT me being me was like yeah well none of the kids even say hello. *shoulder shrugs*
 

So for everyone that thinks it's you skids who don't have manners. It's not. It's most of the generation. 

Also.. my friends and I always bullshitted with each other's parents at a young age and up. 

They are just different now. I'm only 36 so it's not like it was THAT long ago but, it was that long ago.

Comments

advice.only2's picture

Interesting.  Spawn and her friends never spoke to me, they would only talk to DH, and would stare at me.  When my BS and BD have friends over they will talk to us and they don't mind us being around.  

hregal2011's picture

My SD16 only texts me when she Has to.  She engages with DH and usually ignores me and my kids. Ironically-she literally has No friends except for a group of ppl she met online.  She is currently in a relationship with another girl she met once in her life. I agree that the youth nowadays are just simply eff'd! I try to know my daughters friends and they do come in and say hi-thank me for letting them over and say bye.  We have all sat at the table and chatted.  They will say hi to me if they see me in public as well.  That's how it was when I was a teen (also 36 so I'm not That old lol).  I think a lot of kids Do have issues these days and I honestly blame it on the huge influence of social media and not being held accountable for things (obviously just my opinion).  
id go talk to them..make it awkward..'hi! What's your name?!..and start a mini convo.  I do it sometimes when they have a shy friend and it's funny .

Cover1W's picture

YSD is totally like this.  However two of her friends that never come over any longer were absolutely great, never had an issue with them. When she was a little younger her "troublesome friend", i.e. TR, would actively avoid me and DH and do nothing but whisper to YSD when we were in the room. DH and I used to tell her to either speak normally or don't speak at all, esp. if it was at dinner. She's also steal snacks and treats (she took an entire Costco box of fruit rollups once!) and small things from YSD.

My niece, 18 is great as is my friend's 18 yo daughter.

Maybe it's the group thing, or maybe your SS just doesn't hang out with respectable youts.

MissK03's picture

I don't think it's a group thing I think they are just that type. SS17 is/was very "easy" but he definitely has that entitlement in him. 

CLove's picture

He probably talks junk about you. Tells them all kinds of things that make them not talk to you in a manners-friendly way.

I would say something. Im outgoing though.

MissK03's picture

No I don't think he talks about me at all. I just think the legit don't have manners. 

I am a extrovert type A personality so I have no problem saying something haha. I would more so embarrass them and I won't do that lol. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Do you call him out on his behavior, either privately or in front of his friends? Or tell the friends to be polite or they can leave?

We've seen the SKs both have less-than-stellar manners at times, either with us/family or others, and we call them out. It's how they learn that the behavior is unacceptable, even if it's with their friends.

Your SKs don't seem like bad, disrespectful kids overall (or at least I've never gotten that impression, so maybe I'm wrong), so calling him out might actually work.

MissK03's picture

Oh I have said something to him before. Basically when you go to your friends house I hope you say hello to the parents and thank them for being there. He does though tend to get defensive (hence entitlement) of this generation when you say anything something along those lines to him.

One example his GF is very loud. She will be over here screaming and it has gotten to the point where none of us want her here. SO said something to him etc. I was saying something one day like why does she have to be so loud..  it's obnoxious when we are trying to relax. His response: "well you and SD yell too." WELL SS17.. SD and I live here so we can be loud. I go you don't go over other peoples house screaming do you ?!! He was just like well no.. ok then. 

Stuff like that. It gets old. 

It's not just him it's all his friends too. None of them are bad kids by any means just.. no manners. 

Winterglow's picture

I can't say I've seen this problem at all. My daughters' friends are all pleasant and chat quite happily with us. It's to the point where they will come looking for us to say "hello". At the last birthday party (can't remember if they were 15 or 16) they had here, I helped set it up but left DH to do the supervision while I disappeared into my office upstairs, hoping they'd forget about me (lol). Not a chance! They all trooped upstairs, as they arrived, even the ones I didn't know came and introduced themselves! 

I'm not really complaining because it's nice to know what kind of people are around your kids.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

I'd be tempted to have a group meeting the next time they are over and point out that it is only polite when a guest to greet the house owner and to follow the house rules.  If this is too much of an imposition, then they can find somewhere else to hang out.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

It's UK understatement.  It means I would have a meeting with them and explain be polite or get out. 

When my skids were younger I was very direct with them.  I'm not a parent, thus have no biological imperative to love them.  This means that they have to make an effort with me just like they would with a teacher or coach.  They are still polite when I see them.

Felicity0224's picture

I think it's more likely that rude kids attract rude kids as friends, not necessarily that the whole generation are assholes. I'm around a lot of teenagers they're in my home frequently and not one of them behaves like that. Some are more talkative than others, but they all have nice manners and a lot of them carry on conversations with adults with ease.

SloaneMichael's picture

Someone referred to Gen Z as "the troll generation" and I am in complete agreement. Not gonna do a whole "think piece" here, but they do this for fun.  They've learned from social media, not real life, so anything that is "provocative, and gets the people going" or gets "likes" on social media, no matter how dissonant with real life, is what they do. All attention is good attention. 

SeeYouNever's picture

I'm 36 too and a lot of gen z people I've met are pretty polite but shy, maybe it comes off as rude or standoffish. They are overall not a very outgoing generation. However everyone younger than 25 is in their own little world and I think this doesn't really change with the generations, most teenagers are self absorbed.

Im going to make a note to teach my kids how important it is to make introductions...

MissK03's picture

I don't think it has anything to do with being shy I think they weren't taught. They all laugh and talk etc but, they don't say hello.. ehh. I think that type of teen sees it more as the"friends" house and not the parents house if that makes sense. So they don't NEED to say hello or thanks for having me over.