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She thinks this isn’t oversceduling?

Biostep7777's picture

For the entire month of May into June Oldest SS has overlapping practices on two different teams and matching band. So on Tuesday/Wednesday he has 3 activities at the same time and BM says he can just choose which one he wants to do) On Monday/Thursday he has 2 activities at the same time. Youngest SS same thing except his baseball practices start later so 2/3 days a week he will be doing swim practice from 6-6:45 then he goes straight to baseball practice at 7:00-9:00. He is almost 12. My best friend has a master degree in athletic training and over 20 years in the field. Her son just got a full ride to college with a basketball scholarship so she knows what she's talking about. She said doing two upper body sports like that at the same time is extremely unhealthy and he's at huge risk for injury. DH is completely against it and BM is taking them anyway in her days. (Yes this is another contempt because they have joint legal custody) but BM thinks this is perfectly fine. I have never heard anything like this. My ex husband was a professional athlete, my husband was a college athlete and my best friend has her masters in athletic training and they are saying this is dangerous but BM who played middle school softball?? Well...she knows what's best. Lol!!! 

OKtoStep's picture

Just let this go, completely. if I could do it all over again, I'd keep my fat mouth shut about SD's activities. Kid falls asleep whenever she sits down? That sucks. Kid is scheduled for 2 activities at the same time? I'm not going to point out that she can only be in one place at a time because I'm the bad guy for bringing up physics and linear time keeping. 
I got tired of being the punching bag for SD being disappointed about one thing or another, even if didn't say anything. I washed my hands of it after a while.


Biostep7777's picture

I don't say a word! DH had joint legal custody and she just keep packing on the extra curriculars and if he doesn't agree she tells the kids that dad doesn't support them. It's a mess! 

ndc's picture

She's also teaching them a terrible lesson - that it's OK to not show up for a team sport practice or game.  When you join a sports team, you make a commitment.  To join the team with the expectation that you'll only show up some of the time because you have something better to do - that's just wrong.  

Biostep7777's picture

DH says this constantly and she keeps saying "I'm sorry you feel overwhelmed with taking them in your time" he's like ummm no. I said this is teaching them that it's okay to not follow through with their commitments. She says "the coach said it's fine. It's a low key activity" omg. She just loves to argue 

Rags's picture

You can't fix stupid.  Hopefully you can fix the injuries to the Skids that BM will invariably cause them with her idiocy.

How about deposing the pro athelete, college athelete, and graduate degreed atheletic trainer and making a call to CPS to nail BM with a child endangerment charge?

I would.... and I would have fun doing it.


notarelative's picture

BM can say skid can do which one he wants to do, but if one is marching band that may be a problem. Marching band here is a graded class and missing practice to do something else does not fly with the band director.


Biostep7777's picture

Yeah he does marching band. Then he leaves his baseball team and swim team in the dust. DH keeps telling her he's not agreeing and she does it anyway. We can't do anything until court apparently. 

tog redux's picture

Can't control what she does on her time - so since she's basically said it's okay to miss it, he doesn't go on your time (except to Marching Band). Hopefully at some point he will get kicked off the teams.

Biostep7777's picture

Good point. However, he can't control what she does on her time but they have joint legal custody and she's not suppose to be signing them up for activities he doesn't agree to. She does it anyway and then tells the kids "dad just doesn't want to take you on their time" it's really annoying. 

Winterglow's picture

I was under the impression that he didn't have to pay for activities he didn't agree to. I would think that if she was paying and that it was on her time, she could do as she pleases. OTOH, her telling the kids that dad doesn't want to take them on his time is going to backfire on her... the day when they finally have had enough and they tell her that at least at dad's place they're allowed to be kids and to actually have a life. 

Biostep7777's picture

Yeah, she can pay for and do whatever she wants in her time. She can't unilaterally sign them up for 3 teams that are over DH's custody time and then ask him to pay for it. He hit "refuse" on OFW for her requests for reimbursement. She's nuts! She also said "he can just choose which team to attend" the judge isn't going to like that. The judge said "if they make a commitment they need to show up" which is exactly what DH keeps saying and she just plows right over it and does whatever the hell she wants to do. 

tog redux's picture

She has the right to take them to things on her time without his approval, just as he does. What she can't do is make him take them on his time. 

If he wanted them to do a weekend ski lesson or something on his time, he doesn't need her approval. So she doesn't need it for things she does on her time. 

Biostep7777's picture

Agreed! The swim teams are over DH's time and her time. Nobody cares what she does with her own time. 

Winterglow's picture

Like I said, when they eventually get sickness of running from one practice to another, they'll appreciate their time at their dad's. 

He might want to tell them that he thinks it's much more important to be just kids and to spend time as a family (rather than palm them off to a multitude of coaches to take care of).