I am 57 and my husband is 61.
My first marriage lasted 30 years.
My son from my previous marriage moved out at age 19 while his dad and I were still married.
I've recently remarried. I knew he had a daughter, 29, from the wife before last.
He's a wonderful man, don't get me wrong, just bad choices in wives. (I hope he changed his taste when he married me!)
We got married in late October 2018.
We live in the house I've lived in since my ex and I built it 25 years ago.
My new hubby, Jim, lived in a 'man cave' after his divorce in 2014.
We had lived in marital bliss only 4 months when his daughter asked if she could move in long enough to save on a down payment on a place of her own. She has no children and didn't even have a serious boyfriend at the time she moved in.
The house is a 4 bedroom/3 bath home. It was just Jimmy and I in the home.
The garage was renovated and was my son's 'apartment'.
The step daughter has been living with us since March 2019.
She's a nurse and has a full time job. She's a good girl.
We made the mistake of not asking how long the stay would be.
Things have been a little tense on my part. She's completely oblivious.
She informed us before Christmas that "my other child" , her boyfriend, was on his way to the house because he had had an argument with HIS step mom. I didn't think anything of it
He stayed the night which was ok by us. The next night I found that they had a $1300 mattress that we had on the bed now on the floor and a new set on the bed. He said he brought his from home.
Yes, my jaw dropped as well!
I told Jim what had happened. He was upset. Heather has not asked if he could move in. It put us in a very awkward situation. Til now she hasn't paid any rent maybe buying detergent a couple of times. Again, our fault.
She asked if she and Tyler could give us some money each month.
Jim asked how I felt about it. Well, what was I supposed to say? I told him it was ok but I didn't want them staying long.
The boyfriend is nice enough as has a job but I didn't take him to raise.
He takes 2 showers a day and she does the same. They wash at least 5 if not more loads of clothes a week. They have the best parking. She's not as clean as I am in my kitchen. She constantly is cooking and dirtying dishes. I had to tell her to clean off any food before putting them in the dishwasher.
I told her dad that I was tired if having to fold her clothes before I could put mine in the dryer. I also told him to ask her to be mindful of how she treated the cabinets.
He told her they could stay until they found a place but to be considerate about the cabinets and laundry.
I've had to grit my teeth especially today when she told me that they were going on vacation in June.
I was hoping they would be gone before then!
This is really putting a strain on my new marriage.
I know that the right thing to do would to be to tell her clearly that they needed to be out by March, the one year anniversary of her moving in.
I think my husband is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He will do whatever I want but I feel guilty for asking him to tell her she needs to move out especially since it's just the two of us living here.
I'm afraid it will cause hard feelings between them.
Thanks for listening.