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Expecting reaction for her dad

Germie2's picture

So SD is 10 (almost 11), last weekend we went for a trip and when we went back home she saw a car at BM’s House (we live on the same street) , it must have been a bf or a friend, and SD was like “Wth daddy, who’s at her house, I can’t believe someone is there, who can it be.... “ she kept going on about it and kinda getting mad while expecting a reaction from her dad, and he finally said “how would I know, it’s not a problem If she has someone visiting. That night she called BM and decided she’d not be with us on monday but wanted to spend a day with her and they planned what they were gonna do, surprisingly in the morning she kept telling DH to call BM so she can tell him what they’ll be doing on that day (it was weird because she spoke to her mom the previous night and they planned already everything ), and DH said “why don’t you talk to her and plan your day” , she called and after the call she started giving him details of where they’ll go and everything they’ll do then later DH told her , she didn’t need to explain herself when she speaks to her mom.  I don’t know if am thinking it wrong but is she too young to understand her parents aren’t together? I could see she was trying to get certain reactions from him. Does anyone have step kids of that age and do they understand ? Btw they haven’t been together for 5 years now 

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

she turns 11 in November . Her dad and I live on the same street. And she has never once done this. She took the repartnering very well. She loves her stepmother. She liked DD4's dad. 

susanm's picture

She knows quite well that they are not together.  But that does not stop her from wanting them to get BACK together.  I am guessing she was looking to inspire jealousy over who could have been with her mother and then enticing him into joing them the next day.  She is learning the ropes of manipulation.  She is just not any good at it yet.

Germie2's picture

She’s sometimes manipulative and am pretty sure she learns it from BM and the smart mouth is too much for that age ...

Notup4it's picture

Yes they certainly understand if at that age!!!!! What I am thinking happened was that while you were all on vacay she was worried Mom was by her lonely self- she prob felt a bit jealous for her mom.... and then when she saw the car she wanted to make dad feel jealous back to equal things out?! Kids get protective over their parents.

I think when kids are on vacation lots of weird emotions, memories, jealousy, and envy can crop up and manifest itself in weird ways.

Just my guess. 

Germie2's picture

He’s more of a Disney Dad and it’s only lately that’s he’s been standing up to some of her behavior Because he’s realized that I’ll leave if nothing gets better soon

Areyou's picture

She needs to be told that when she is in your home she does not talk about her mother. She knows her mother is neither your friend nor family. Keep reminding her.