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Summer with the Skids

Larsabennett's picture

Ahhh... summer. Nice hot days, gorgeous warm nights. You plan on relaxing in your home in the AC or go out and enjoy life with your DH. Then DH gets a call from BM that says the 3 skids need to be picked up at the airport because they are spending the summer with their dad! DH was never notified of these plans but BM took it upon herself to book flights and send them to their dad for the summer. I was in a state of horror. We live in a small one bedroom apartment and when they are here I feel put out of my own home which I pay for most of the rent. They take over my living room, stay up until after 2am, make messes and don’t clean up after themselves, don’t shower regularly... the list goes on and on. I have 2-1/2 more weeks and they’ll be gone. I couldn’t be happier. I can’t stand having them around because the lack of parenting from both parents shows in their daily lives and I want nothing to do with it. Honestly their existence in my life while they are here physically makes me sick. They’ve been here for two months and just lay around doing nothing ALL day just taking up space in my living room while I have to be subjected to living like I’m in a convalescent home in my bedroom because I can’t stand being around them. Even their scent makes me sick. I have to light candles all day just to get rid of their natural scent in my home. They are not part of my DNA and I can smell it.. I just can’t wait for them to be gone!

Comments

Areyou's picture

I feel you. I could never live full time with skids. Hang in there sweety. It’ll be over soon .

Larsabennett's picture

Yes! It is a literal nightmare for me that OF COURSE does not bother DH because those are his kids/family. I on the other hand want to jump off a cliff! 

Larsabennett's picture

Yes! It is a literal nightmare for me that OF COURSE does not bother DH because those are his kids/family. I on the other hand want to jump off a cliff! 

Trying to be WIse's picture

Your story makes me go hunt up aconyms that might apply but WTF seems to be the best one. Bio Mom gets away with doing this? Aren't the kids miserable? What's DH say about this? Can he ship them back? I'd tell him to get them out of your apartment (this is why the good goddess make Disneyland, camping, and parks) and/or get myself on a plane to anywhere else. This sounds just horrible. How old are the kids? There's an age when boys start to smell like hamsters, I swear.

Larsabennett's picture

When this initially happened, I had an argument with DH in regards to what he allows his Bm to get away with. I was ready to ship them back but he felt guilty and didn’t want to. The Bm was calling the kids telling them their dad didn’t love them, etc. He’s so pathetic sometimes not seeing how she manipulates the scene to get what she wants. Which by the way, she didn’t want them home because her kids are garbage disposals during summer and eat every 5 minutes and she didn’t want the extra expense. My answer to her/his problems are always the same... you shouldn’t of had 3 kids if you couldn’t afford them. Dad can’t afford to send them to Disneyland or anywhere that costs anything. I have had to feed them and carry the cost of their stay. DH makes slightly above minimum wage and can barely cover his part of the bills in the house. The funny thing is they aren’t miserable but I think that’s because they get to watch tv and play video games on my 75” and stay up all night cause DH doesn’t give them any rules other than the ones I force him to enforce. The kids are SS 18, SS 14, SD 9. God help me... 

Nottakingit's picture

What would happen if when dh got that call he said, "Well we are out of town on vacation right now?" I would be livid and just cry daily in your shoes!!!

Larsabennett's picture

That’s the same thing I asked DH! He said “well that would have been her problem”... which is a lie cause he allows this type of manipulation to carry on with his Bm that’s why she does what she does. 

decofru's picture

DH is the problem here. He should set BM stright that she cannot just do as she pleases without consulting with him first, she has to respect that baby daddy has a wife he needs to consider and agree with. That's the sad part about marrying a man with children, you deal with the children's crap and the BM as well for all eternity. Its painful to take responsibility of and nonsense from children you did not ask to be born!!!

Larsabennett's picture

She doesnt respect herself, let alone anyone else. She bad mouths their father all the time. She also has the nerve to constantly face time the kids just to see what is going on in my household or if she can get a glimpse of something to talk shit about. Im so over this whole scenario and have been having migraines everyday from the stress, which in turn has been affecting me going to work. I am counting the days down and hope these days pass by very fast! 

justmakingthebest's picture

Do they not have a custody schedule?? They must have really been pissing BM off for her to not only send them to you guys but to buy the flights! You don't often hear of BM's being so "generous". It sounds like a miserable summer! Tell DH you deserve a nice trip for just the 2 of you after this!!

Larsabennett's picture

She's just a bitter ex that cant get over the fact that he divorced her. Its been over a decade and she hasnt found a new permanent  man. That tells me she is unbearable and no one can deal with her for long. 

Larsabennett's picture

She left the state without permission. We live in Southern California and she now lives in Texas. She is trying to take him to court but she cant because he never gave her permission to leave and she'd have to move back. 

ESMOD's picture

I'm also interested in what the CO says about visitation.  Do you think perhaps he knew about the visit but didn't tell you?

Larsabennett's picture

He doesnt have a visitation order since she up and left the state without his permission. Now she is trying to enforce one but he said he'll fight it and make her move back to California if she does.  

CLove's picture

Doesnt communicate her summer schedule to us, and I have been ending up with Child care duties (sometimes). 3 skids in a 1 bedroom? And we have 3 bedroom, so SD can stay in her room all the time she wants and I dont even know shes there. I dont know how you do it!!!

Because as the others have mentioned, its too late to change things like getting jobs, dooing chores, how about if you took some time off and did your own thing, after work or whatever, took off for a weekend? Does hubby get chores? Are you saddled with babysitting? Yikes. Summer cant end soon enough for you!

Larsabennett's picture

DH doesn’t mind being with his kids in the one bedroom, I on the other hand want to disappear until they are gone. I also just bought new couches and can’t even enjoy sitting on them because I don’t want to be in the same room as them. SD9 is very uncomfortable to be around and I’d rather not deal with her and her whiny ways. After this nightmare, my DH is never going to subject me to this nightmare again. He’s going to see them in their state of Texas. His mom and family live there so he might as well visit them and visit his spawn while he’s there. Two birds, right?