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What is the DH diagnosis for this?

Thisisnotus's picture

Same song and save....major PAS from BM. BM treats skids like if they even dare act like they like their dad. BM sabotages anything skids touch...SD16 want to a job...makes her quit....toddlers can’t work.

still on the “daddy left us oh whoa is me”. Poor me the single mom getting loads of CS with dad having kids half the time....except again BM sabotages most of the time.....and tells skids they have to be with her.

so today like any other day BM calls dh to discuss SD16 sickness.....again always sick.....(they don’t don’t sleep and eat one fast food meal each day) .and he thinks it’s normal and great like wow Bm and I had a great talk today....she’s not drunk today....or mean and nasty so wow I’m so happy we just talked and sd is sick. She’s so sick.....but she runs around my house like a hyena....yeah so sick.

kill me......are these men this messed up? 

Harry's picture

She will be drinking tomorrow. What did we accomplished??

tog redux's picture

Delusionally hopeful that someday BM will be normal and stop alienating his kids and making his life miserable. 

Thisisnotus's picture

Well yeah I agree. The thing is she has been an alcoholic for probably 30 years and they were together for 25 so it’s not like there is ever going to be a’s the constant cycle of being drunk for a few days....lashing out to everyone....then spending 2 days hungover sober and feeling regret for lashing out...and being nice to everyone....then repeat.

im pretty disengaged just venting.....but watching my dh ride the roller coaster with her is maddening.

tog redux's picture

Yeah, my DH used to argue with BM endlessly and it was so pointless, she was never going to say, "Yeah, you're right, I am being ridiculous here!"  I used to tell him that she was over there creaming herself getting so much attention from him.  Then finally, he started ignoring her and it was great (plus it bothered her way more than the arguing), but it was still engaging with her, just by ignoring.

Then SS was alienated for 3 years and she was quiet or pleasant that whole time. Once he came back,  DH tried communicating with her again about money owed, etc, but it quickly devolved into her trying to manipulate more money out of him, or threatening him with court, so he started ignoring her again, but this time, not to piss her off, just to get back to our peace and quiet.

So, I say that to point out that it takes time to see and change a pattern in relating to someone toxic.

Harry's picture

You are together for 25 years and have a SD 16 ????  There More to this story, was DH cheating on BM with you ?  Does SD think you broke up the Happy Family. Only time is going to fix this. People who drink do have mental problems.  You know drinking away ones problems. You may have to wate until SD is ab Adult, until SD can see for her self what’s going on. To have a relationship with her

Thisisnotus's picture

They have a 16 and 11 year old. Dated for like 10 years....then got married and waited a long time to have kids. 

Both sd’s and I have no issues and never have. I vent about them here but ultimately I vent about dh haha 

yes there was is what it is. Trust me I’m living my own karma so we are all good there! Lol Both sds were actually relieved because mom would get drunk and start hitting and pushing dh snd cussing at him on the regular for many years in front of skids......there was no happy family to break up.

sd16 and I have a great relationship even if she drives me bonkers but I don’t let her know that.

shamds's picture

yeah my husbands exwife hasn’t worked in 26 years now. After the divorce where her family threatened to kill hubby by stabbing and shooting him to death if he didn’t give more money to her, she tried applying for a job at hubbys company. 

Hubby was snr vp in charge of admin meaning all resumes go through him. His staff told him she had applied, he put a blacklist on her because of her psychotic character and the fact when she worked at the company everything was 1/4 arsed full of mistakes I can’t give a shit about my job. 

She played the whole poor me single mum divorced and my ex husband is so controlling. People don’t know the amount of abuse she dished out to hubby. She’s so lazy she couldn’t get a job on her own accord and merits, tried to control and guilt hubby even more. She decided to rock up to her old office on a bitch rant about hubby. If any of those staff trash talked hubby they would be fired on the spot but no one did.

eventually her friends got sick of her whining. Seriously get over it

btw its 11 + years post divorce and she still hasn’t worked... just hubbys child support payments oh and the money she stole out of hubbys personal saving which she illegally accessed and cleared out..