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Stunted skids still believing in Santa?

Thisisnotus's picture

What do you all think? I say it's a show.

SD13 "still believes in Santa" 

give me a break right?

is this part of the act of skids trying to remain younger and their parents helping?

I mean this kid watches criminal minds and r rated movies but I'm supposed to tip toe around her at Christmas because she believes in Santa?  She's on all social media so you know she doesn't actually believe in Santa.

Yes we have a 2 year old.....so we still do Santa...but I'm sorry it's gonna feel weird this year playing Santa to a 7th grader.

I know the kid has some issues and tries really hard to stay around 7 years old....she is super smart so there is no real delay.

yestersy I bought 2 random pumpkins for my porch at Walmart and when she came over she pitched a fit saying how it's not fair that we "went and picked pumpkins with our toddler and didn't take her" .....haha. 

tog redux's picture

My niece used to say she believed in Santa at 13. She's now 24 and while she does function as a grown-up, she openly says she misses childhood and doesn't like having to "adult".  I think it's a way for kids to avoid growing up. 

Thisisnotus's picture

Yes. For sure. I have known SD13 since she was 7 and she has not really changed at all...

it's so weird since I have 3 teens who...one is 13 and she is nothing at all like she was at 7.

I know SD wants to stay young......even more so since we do have a 2 year old. 

ESMOD's picture

Idk about the santa thing... but I can see her wanting to go pick out pumpkins.. esp if she is a halloween fan.  I see no reason why dad can't take her to pick hers out.. 

Thisisnotus's picture

We don't pick out our pumpkins at Walmart....I just bought 2 while I was there by myself because I was decorating my porch for Halloween so they are MY pumpkins. LOL. We are a family of 8 so I certainly wouldn't just buy 2 anyway.

 

advice.only2's picture

She knows there is no Santa, but hey her saying she believes at least makes it plausible for your toddler. Spawn and BS were much older than BD, but they continued to "believe" in Santa until BD was old enough to figure it out that he wasn't real.

tog redux's picture

Good point, I had 3 older siblings and I knew there was no Santa by age 5, thanks to them.

Thisisnotus's picture

Skids and my kids are so much older than the 2 year old that I doubt that will happen....

I don't see 16 year old SD or 20 year old SD when DD is 5.....telling her Santa isn't real..but I guess you never know.

Thisisnotus's picture

Awe!! We have a 10,11,13,15 and 16 year age gap so I really would hope they don't spoil it.

Thisisnotus's picture

I see what you are saying. My older girls 13,15 and 18 also "believe" in Santa and Santa still visits them every Christmas and always will as long as they "believe". All of them will always believe for the toddles sake growing up...

im not talking about the magic of Santa and all that he represents.....hell I still "believe"....and love everything about it. Christmas is big and full of gifts at our house....i

this is different with SD....she needs everyone to know that she thinks Santa is legit real....And I have DH and MIL doing everything possible to make it seem real...

my kids are playing along with it....because they enjoy it. Not the case for SD....she ain't playin' lol 

SeeYouNever's picture

Your SD is obviously playing it up for attention. Probably because you have a toddler and it's giving her some insecurity.

Did her parents split up when she was seven? I have found that CODs a lot of the time get emotionally stuck at the age that their parents split. This is very much due to the parents treating them as if they are still that age because they themselves are stuck. This is especially true of non-custodial parents because they interact with the kids a lot less so they don't update their expectations for them.

My husband used to do this with SD period in his mind she was forever 4 years old. He did update his expectations once she became about 10 and stopped being into "baby stuff" and asking for toys intended for much younger kids. 

Thisisnotus's picture

Yes!!! Not long ago I posted here about the same exact thing!!!!

i totally agree....

only in recent months has SD17 stopped acting like a very young child......so maybe acts about 13 now....

I had also posted before that in FEb DH took SD13 to a daddy daughter dance cause before divorce they always went ....all the other kids at the dance were 4 to 9. It was just so weird!!!

i guess I know the answer to me own question....when DH or MIL aren't around....SD13 is totally different....and when they get around her....even the look in her eyes changes and she's acting like a toddler.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Hmmm. That makes some sense about being stuck at the age when parents split. The younger of each of my SO's sets of kids with 2 different BMs both have issues. The 10-year-old was a baby when they split. He still gets spoon fed sometimes, he has a bottle (from the store not a baby bottle) of milk brought with him when he goes to different family members homes, and my SO says he has to sit him on his lap to make sure he pays attention to his homework. He cosleeps everywhere but my SO's, but only because i put my foot down. I can't participate in all that, as i met him as an 8-year-old so i see him as his actual age. I don't see him as a baby like they all seem to so i was freaked out when i was expected to treat him like one. In fact, i think it's sort of repulsive how they infantilize him. If we do move in together one day, i will have to figure out a way to deal with it. 

Thisisnotus's picture

I think the co sleeping is part of why SD13 won't sleep at our house...no teen is sleeping in my bed or in my room....she sleeps with her mom every night. That's so so weird to me.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

13 is way too old! I wonder, is the cosleeping and ither infantilizing a way for some of these parents to prove "See, i told you nothing would change after the divorce!" Like in these cases, literally nothing. They don't form new traditions, don't teach them new skills, just try to keep everything the same. For EVER. 

Lndsy747's picture

When I last talked to my SD she was still sleeping with BM at 16. She's 18 now and I would very she still does.

Thumper's picture

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

---------------------------------

Maybe remembering Santa Claus is a comfort to them?? 

Thisisnotus's picture

I get that .... it's just different. It's not innocent, it's a ploy for attention. Same as not being able to make her own plate of dinner or get herself a drink....Just trying to stay like 7 years old forever 

MissK03's picture

If she was saying it around your toddler to make sure they still believe then ya ok. Stating that she actually thinks he does.. then it's attention. 
 

SD13 has a "friend" (I am friends with her mother and I don't know how she deals but that's another story) but, we took her to the beach this past summer and she was telling SD she was a mermaid and causing the waves and bunch of other ridiculous things. Legit was trying to claim she was a damn mermaid. SD was like uhhhhhhhh noooooo. 

SD and this friend are drifiting apart because they are two totally different people and I feel so bad for friends mom.

Also though, SOs friends kids DID actually believe the elf on the shelf was real for a little longer I think then they should have... not at 13 though. Around 11. 

Rags's picture

I do not see the problem with a 13yo sustaining the fantasy of Santa Clause.  Every year when my family gets together for Christmas we all give gifts to each other. Some from us, some from Santa.  The point is to enjoy the holidays toghether.  Why can't that include Santa Clause?

My son is 28, my brothers kids are 26, 21, and 18.  Everyone reads the gift tags and opens gifts from Santa every year just as we open gifts from each other. Each of us happily thanks Santa for the gifts labeled as being from Santa. Then of couse we hug hte person it was actually from.   The kids all do this being in their late teens to late 20s,  I do itt at 56, my wife at 44, my brother at 50, his wife at 52,  and our parents at 75 and 78 respectively.  For us it is a tradition that has has stood out for generations.  Do any of us "believe" in Santa.  Of course not. But everyone one of us believes in the joy that the trandition brings to everyone in the family.

I have always been mind boggled by the tendency that so many people have to destroy the joy of others during the holidays.

Thisisnotus's picture

If you read any of my above posts.....you will see more info....there is absolutely no destroying of joy.

Im referring to a teen actually thinking (more like telling DH)  Santa is a real man who comes in the house at night and leaves gifts and eats cookies......

Thisisnotus's picture

No doubt! She is like that about about anything.

if we want pizza she hates it.....if we want burgers she wants pizza!  I'm all for marching to the beat of your own drum but not when it's fake.....

Rags's picture

I get it.  In these cases, the kid's wants should not be considered and she does what the rest of the family wants to do.  If she goes ballistic, give her clarity that if she continues to be commited to being contrarian she can learn to live with disappointment.

Stepmama2321's picture

I remember in 4th grade having Kinder reading buddies that we'd meet with. We helped them write a letter to Santa then in class, we responded pretending to be an Elf. This was something the entire class participated in and many of whom were very religious as I went to a small rural, farm kid elementary. No parents made a fuss and no kid had their belief stomped on by this activity. 
 

At that age, she is definitely playing that she still believes. Maybe she thinks she won't get gifts and a stocking if she doesn't participate? Or maybe she's doing it because she thinks you guys like her to? 

Thisisnotus's picture

No.....all kids (2,13,13,15,17,18) are insanely spoiled at Christmas both from us and "Santa" no matter the age.....there is no shortage of gifts....it's probably a shameful amount but I enjoy doing it and I was raised that way.

i do elf on the shelf for everyone....Santa visits....my house looks like the hobby lobby Christmas section the up in it haha

Im not talking about believing in the magic of Christmas and the joy of the season.....there is a difference....."daddy, what time will Santa be here tonight and how does he carry all of my gifts?." Coming from a teenager is just weird to me......same teenager who is listening to WAP....yeah okay!

 

Stepmama2321's picture

I definitely understand what you mean about believing in the "magic" vs actually asking her father how Santa comes down the chimney. Wtf that's so weird.... I guess I'm kind of passive aggressive and would play along with it in the most exaggerated annoy HER type of way.... 

still learning's picture

I'd profess to believe in Santa if I'd get spoiled rotten on Christmas!  

Thisisnotus's picture

They are spoiled regardless.....I'm just saying there is no need for the show that SD13 puts on.

nappisan's picture

no it will be an act!  My exSS13 is the same , still 'says' he believes in santa but is quite happy to tell mummy and daddy what he wants for xmas , tells them where to buy it from etc.  I say your SD will pick and choose when she wants to believe.  I understand wanting to go pick pumkins for Halloween ,, i would want to do that too and im 37.  Its all an act to keep the focus on her and her still being daddys little girl.   What would she do if you straight out told her santa isnt real? 

Thisisnotus's picture

Well I would never say that to her....I never say anything to skids other than hello, goodbye and small talk.

If I did....she would probably cry and tell BM and MIL and everyone would go bat shit crazy and my DH would probably cry.....