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SO is now not even going to SD's 8th birthday party!

GizmoBarnOwl's picture

Ok, so in my other blog I mentioned that my daughter had gone to BM's house last year for SD7 birthday. I let her go with SO. He left her alone there to get the pizzas, even though I had specifically told him not to leave BM alone with my daughter. I dont trust the woman. Shes emotionally unstable, spiteful and has no problems with beating her children, ridiculing them and making nasty threats to frighten them (her daughter 7 was so badly affected by her that she was loosing weight through stress, her son aged 5 is nearly always frightend to go home incase he gets beaten)I didnt know just how unstable she was at the time though, even though I knew she wasnt right, I only now know the full extent. My daughter didnt have any complaints that day though, but I vowed never to let her go again, its just not worth the risk.

My daughter has been invited again this year, I have a legit excuse for her not to go as we'll be with my family for a mothers day weekend meal.

I hadnt asked SO if he wanted to come as it is his daughters birthday party and ofcourse, he always goes to the kids parties. He and BM had a fight over email last august because she told him that she wanted him to tell his son he was working and couldnt make it to his party. Even though SS was really excited about his dad coming.

So it was a real suprise to me when last night SO tells me he isnt going to SD's 8th birthday party. Her birthday is on a weds so he wont see her on the day either and will basically miss her birthday altogether. We have planned to do something the following weekend so my daughter could give her her gifts. But I am just really surprised and a little pissed off with SO. He made so much effort to make sure he was at SS party but is content to tell SD that hes working and basically cant be bothered to make the effort.

He freely admits that his son is his favourite. He says that BM wrecked his relationship with their daughter by underminding his parenting all the time. Its funny, SS looks just like SO and SD looks the spit of her mother (and posibley her mothers ex partner too...its hard to tell, I keep trying to find things about her that look like SO but am pretty much just being polite when I say I can see him in her)BM picks on SS ALOT but doesnt seem to be as harsh with SD (not hard to guess why).

It just makes me so angry that he behaves like this. We have agreed that when we move in together we will start doing birthdays seperate from BM, but he was meant to be going to this party for his daughter. Now hes just quit a few days before. That is not right. Its not fair on her either, and also he said that if my daughter was going, he would go, but as shes not, he wont!! He then tried to tell me that he doesnt even think he was invited in the first place!!

BM saying "Its (SD's) party at this time, on this date. Oh and (my daughter) is also invited" sounds like an invite for him to me!!!

Idiot Man.


NCMilGal's picture

Depending on the state, it doesn't matter.

BM kicks, slaps, and beats SD16 with a belt. Her DH kicks, grabs, and shakes SD16. DH told a lawyer this when we were looking at going for custody - the lawyer said unless we could prove it AND sd16 was willing to testify in open court (in front of BM) we would never get custody.

How many times have we head "She's the mom" or "Home is where the mom is."??

Not everywhere is the North-East; the Deep South doesn't give a flying f***, just that the CP is getting CS, and they are getting their cut.

GizmoBarnOwl's picture

We called social services. They gave her a poxy phone call to say dont do it again!! We've been keeping a diary over the last year of the things she has done, but apparently unless we can get a photo of bruising, they wont do anything about it. So now she knows we are on to her, and social services are doing nothing about it. All we can hope is that the children complain to a teacher at school who will then report it. They probably wont say anything to us now because they know it will get back to mum (via a social call from social services)

GizmoBarnOwl's picture

We are in the UK. Although it sounds like your system is just as warped as ours!! When we move in together we will be talking to a family lawyer about how to gain custody. Worth a try.

Kilgore SMom's picture

Sounds like SO doesn't want to go. SO should first call SD and tell her he is not going to be their and that he is planning something special for her when he sees her. Then he needs to tell Bm the same thing.

GizmoBarnOwl's picture

Yeah, he saw the kids tonight. I am just IM him now to find out what was said! lol