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Here we go again

proudstepmommy's picture

So SD10s birthday is coming up in a few weeks.

She has been begging to have a roller skating party.

About 3-4 weeks ago when DH and I were dropping off SD at BMs SD told BM that is what she wanted to do for her bday. BM said she would call around and book the party for her.

I knew where this was gonna go. Same thing happened last year.

I picked up SD on my way home from work on Friday and SD started talking about wanting to have the party. I said "didn't your mom book it already?" To which she said no.

No excuse for this BM did recently lose her job, so she has plenty of free time... but she couldn't be bothered (the place is less than 5 min from her house). It's not about the $, all she had to do was go get info. We've always had a "joint" party (we all get along, though we are FAR from friends lol). When I say "joint" I mean we plan it, book it, pay for everything (after BM has dragged her feet on it), and then we invite her to said party.

So this weekend SD and I went and got the info. DH spoke with BM and she said everything sounded good to her. So, I've already booked the place, did the invites (SDs birthday is the weekend after they get back from Christmas break... So as far out as it is we need to get them to SD this week so she can pass them out at lunch/recess on Friday).

I don't want to step on BMs toes... But if she had it her way, SD wouldn't have so much as a friend over, let alone a birthday party.


aulonocara's picture

Hey. I don't know if anyone has ever said this to you, but you sound like an awesome SM. It sounds like a frustrating situation, but you seem to be handling it well. Your SD is lucky to have you in her life. Smile

Disneyfan's picture

Maybe mom had second thoughts about it and decided not to do a party this year.

There's nothing with not having a party each year.

proudstepmommy's picture

Thanks guys!

Disneyfan- BM hasn't had a party for SD for over the last 5 years.

Look out the window- pigs are flying! BM asked DH how much she owes for her portion of the deposit?!?!?!?!

misSTEP's picture

Just because she asks doesn't mean she's going to pony up. I wouldn't be surprised until you or your DH actually receives the cash in hand.

Rags's picture

Unfortunatly SParents often spend a lot of time and effort having to overcome the shortcomings of the BMs or BioDads in the blended family oppostion.

Your SD is very fortunate to have you in her life.

proudstepmommy's picture

misSTEP- oh I know... I'm not holding my breath

Rags- yes they do... Thank you, I feel the same about her and DH.

PolyMom's picture

Do you know how much I envy your situation? Our BM adamantly must provide all mothering, nurturing things, and if even a suggestion of me helping out in any way comes up, she just about loses her damn mind. That wouldn't be so bad, if she actually followed through. Imagine your situation, with the added fun of the BM getting severely pissed, and alienating the skids, telling them how evil you are for wanting to replace her. It doesn't sound like your BM has taken it to that level. I don't care who does what for the kids, as long as it gets done, and they have the best childhood they can have.