I am new to this forum and could really use some advice. My stepson is celebrating his 6th birthday next month.
His mom and dad alternate having him for his birthday. Last year, we had him on his birthday so we planned his birthday party. We invited his mom, but she chose not to attend.
This year, his mom is planning his birthday party. My stepson is really excited about his party and told me that he wanted me and his dad to come. Although it would be awkward for the adults, my husband and I are willing to put our discomfort aside to be there for his son.
My husband talked to his ex about it. He shared with her that his son asked that we come to his party. She told him that we are not invited and can't come.
For context, my husband and his ex wife divorced when my stepson was nearly one year old. They were on the rocks before he was born and things didn't get better after he was born, so my husband initiated the divorce. I met him when his son was 3.5 years old. We got married late last year.
I am really close to my stepson. I have known him since he was 3.5 years old and we have a really great relationship. He's my little buddy. I don't know his mom very well as I have only met her a few times. She does not get along with my husband at all, though.
Anyway, I feel so terrible because I feel like this puts me in a position where I have to disappoint my stepson. I don't know what to tell him when he asks me if I am coming to his birthday party.
Should I tell him that I have other plans? I don't want to tell him that though because there is nothing more important to me than being at his events and I don't want him to think he's not a priority to me. Should we tell him that we are not invited to his party and will celebrate with him the following weekend? I'm not sure this is the best thing because then it puts him in the middle. I really do not know the best way to handle this.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated.