Conflict with teen sleep overs
With a senior boy dating g a senior dating a junior girl... they joined us at. Friend's daughter 21st birthday party. My Co parent allowed them to drink with the girlfriend's older sister driving them home and a curfew of Midnight. They get bored and go back to our home to do smores in the firepit. I call my step-son to ensure they got there okay and am told both girlfriend and sister are staying the night at our house. I asked if he had permission for this from his father ND was told "He won't care". I tasked to my husband (the bio father) about this and he called and we agreed it was not appropriate for a sleep over. I go home to bed and the kids return to the birthday. 2 am theyou all come in our house. I am then told by my inebriated spouse the girls ARE spending the night. I said NO they need to go home. Argument ensues with my spouse and a smart Alec comment from my step son. In the end step son and girls leave together not to return til 5pm the following day. I am the bad guy. I now apparently hate my step children and am pushing them away from our home. I was told by my drunk spouse he is "done with my bullshit" and wants a divorce. This is the 5th time I have heard this from him whilst dranking in 6 years. I am at a loss at this point! I want counseling and respectful partnership. Without that I am living the definition of insanity. ADVICE please.
Give him what he wants. Get
Give him what he wants. Get apartment catalogues from the local supermarket and start looking for a new place to live. He is controlling you by threatening to divorce you.
And you don't hate his kids and want to drive them away. He is throwing extremes at you to get you to back off. He knows you are right but wants to push your buttons to make you seem like the bad guy.
If you think he will go to counselling with you, try it. See what he says. In my eyes people let down their guard and speak their minds about relationships when they are drunk.
Sorry
Well said.
Well said.
Essentially, once a year
Essentially, once a year while drunk your DH threatens divorce. I'd make his rantings a reality. Sounds like he's a sh*tty parent and wouldn't mind being a grandfather.
I would start my exit strategy now.
The 5th time he has
The 5th time he has threatened divorce and you did not kick his ass out the first time? A little slow on the uptake aren't you?
Call the locksmith now. Rekey the locks. Have his toxic ass served with divorce papers immediately.
I have zero tolerance for the divorce threat crap. That your DH is such a waste of scrotum that he is a complete failure as a father would accelerate his departer were I you. Boot the DH and his toxic spawn.
NOW!!!
Try counseling. Maybe have a
Try counseling. Maybe have a set time, a year or two years, whatever you choose, if you don't see improvement by then it's time to go your separate ways. You have every right to say who can and cannot be in your home. It isn't like you said, SS can't stay here, you said 2 girls can't stay there. That should be okay with your H. It's certainly nothing to throw a tantrum about. Now that everything is calm, rather than being put on the spot, talk about what the rules will be for girls sleeping over in your home. Reach a compromise. I do not think it is unreasonable to want to have time to think about such a huge decision, rather than being put on the spot and being forced to deal with "but you let _ sleepover or you let a girl sleep here before, so what's your problem now". This sort of thing, should not be a spur of the moment decision made when anyone has been drinking. This is a huge decision with potentially huge consequences, so good for you for standing your ground. If you would've said, "fine whatever", your H would probably be upset you allowed him to make a decision like that while inebriated. Perhaps if your husband can't control his mouth when he drinks, he should stop drinking. Good luck.