I'm being stalked at work
This may be a little off the subject but I'm being stalked at work and have been for about a year and a half. I just need to vent about it and maybe get a little advise.
It started in the summer of last year. I was out on our smokers patio talking with a coworker about needing to get my breaks changed. He over heard me and offered to do it for free as long as I paid for the breaks. I didn't see anything wrong with this. I had talked to him numerous times and being a single mother it would save me some money.
So he came over to my place one weekend and looked at my breaks and said that they indead needed to be changed. That was about as far as that went with the changing of my breaks. One evening when I got home from work after I picked up my daughter as soon as I pulled into my parking lot he pulled in right behind my car. He proceeded to tell me that he was in the neighborhood and that he wanted me to go have a drink with him. (This man doesn't live anywhere near me and the restaurant that he cliamed to be at is not in my neighborhood. Meaning that he sat around where I live waiting for me to come home.) I told him that I wasn't interested and that I needed to take care of my daughter.
From that point on I didn't talk to him or even look at him. If we passed by each other at work I would just stare at the floor. He then proceeded to start walking laps around the area that I worked in 6 to 7 times in a row about 3 times a day just staring at me everytime he passed. He would also wait for me to go on break and then follow me out onto the patio. HR got involved at that point and has told him to leave me alone twice as well as his supervisor.
Since then I have moved to another posotion at work and have seen him less. (Thank god) But now it seems to be starting again. He will walk by and just stare at me. If I'm eating lunch and he walks by he just stares at me. He comes into the area that I work in and will pretend to talking to somebody else but he's constantly looking. Everytime I turn around there he is. If we happen to be outside smoking at the same time he's looking.
This man is old enough to be my dad. Or atleast looks that way. He is married and looks nasty. I have no clue why he thinks that I would ever be intersted, EVER, or why he would think that this type of behavior would win me over.
All of this makes me completely uncomfortable. He knows that he is not supposed to be doing any of this. I have sent my supervisor emails about his behavior and how it makes me feel. I know have to document it all in an excel spredsheet. Can anybody explain to me why somebody would repeadly do this?
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My sister had a stalker once.
My sister had a stalker once. SHe did the same thing invited him over because he had helped her out at work. Then he started staling her. His wife even called my sister - at which time she said that she didn't want anything to do with this guy.
Scary enough- this guy was planning on building a dungeon (yes a dungeon) and putting my sister in it. Before he could some events transpired (she had involved the authorities at this time) - and fear of getting caught caused this guy to kill himself.
I would be very concerned if this guy is stalking you continually. Maybe in his crazy ass mind he thinks that you are being coy. I would flat out tell him in front of your supervisor to stop harassing you and that you think he s being a creep. You do not want to be with him - and you want him to leave you alone.
I can't. I work for a large
I can't. I work for a large corporation and everything has to be approved by HR first. I have alredy asked my supervisor if I can ane he told me to do the excel spread sheet.
My Bf knows what's going on and wants me to give him the description of his car so that he can stop him when he's leaving work to confront him and ask him to leave me alone.
Since the whole waiting for me to come home thing happened I now carry a baseball bat in the trunk of my car and pepper spray laced with military grade tear gas.
Can you get a restraining order for just work purposes? How would I do that if I don't really have any evidence other than coworkers seeing the behavior?
What I meant by I can't is
What I meant by I can't is confronting him at work. Believe me I want to.
Time to escalate the issue to
Time to escalate the issue to a potential hostile work environment level. Go back to HR, express your discomfort with his continued behavior and inform HR that you are formally requesting that the situation be effectively addressed.
Talk to your boss first and request his/her support prior to going to HR.
They will get the message. If they do not, throw the “I may have to file a hostile work environment or work place harassment suit in this guy” card. Don't threaten to involve the company at least initially. If they do not fix the problem get a lawyer and go after him.
I am not one for recommending suing employers because I am one. However, if they do not effectively address the situation to alleviate the problem it may come to that.
Hang in there and good luck.
Best regards,
I don't want to make any
I don't want to make any waves at my job. I like working there. I understand that it's their job to keep me safe. And if you knew what company I work for you would be shocked. They're a house hold name.
I just want this guy to leave me alone. I was not interested then, am not now, and will never be into him, EVER. He is a complete creeper. I wish they would let me confront him. I've had a hard time controlling myself sometimes when I see him doing it. I am no victim and I want him to know that he has picked the wrong chick to mess with.
I find it interesting and
I find it interesting and concerning that they do not require that you ask him to stop stalking you and to notify him that his behavior makes you uncomfortable.
I have worked for several Fortune 500's (or better) and they have all had the policy that the individual has the responsibility of the initial communication of their discomfort to the perpetrator and to follow up with management and HR if the perpetrator does not accommodate your request.
don't know what state you
don't know what state you live in, but here in CA you are not required to ask someone to stop harassing you. You can still file harassment charges without confronting the person -- ESPECIALLY if it could place you in danger. I'd go back to HR and try to pursue the matter further. If this guy knows where you live and is showing up at your house, I'd definitely consider a restraining order -- that's very creepy!!j
WHy don't you go to a
WHy don't you go to a sporting store and do some target practicing? Pay for some lessons, use their guns...they'll outfit you with headphones, teach you to load and shoot.
Then after the 2nd weekend you've done that and someone asks how your weekend went, talk about how fun your shooting lessons are and "just like my great aunt, I'm also an excellent shot". let that information circulate at work...ciculate so stalker hears you're target practicing. Let his imagination go that you're a sharpshooter and despise wormy people that stare and stalk.
Hey, someof those guys are cute that work at the sports store. You might meet someone pretty cool to hang out with, and wow.....you'll have some great protection, come to think of it!!
Please don't take this
Please don't take this lightly. I had a stalker once. I moved FOUR TIMES before he quit finding me again.
Then he got busted for raping a girl in the mall parking lot and is serving time. I am so happy that I don't have to worry about this guy anymore.
The nice thing about living
The nice thing about living in Texas is that there are not many stalkers. Most that used to live here no longer live anywhere. The ones that still live are in Huntsville.
It is nice to be able eliminate physical threats to your wellbeing with deadly force.
Legally of course. Two rounds, center mass. At least that is what my concealed hand gun permit instructor told us.