It's only been a week
Exactly one week into having to deal with OSD by himself SO literally had a break down. It was sad to watch as she fell from grace in his eyes and he could no longer hide in the land of denial.
On top of her behavior, her complete disrespect towards him, he also had to deal with 4 separate phone calls from her teachers. SO would always say out loud when she was being disrespectful and unruly, well at least she is an honors student. Well, not anymore. She is refusing to do her work, which they are being graded on and she is lying to her teachers.
Also, OSD called BM this week because he redirected her and she didnt like it so BM picked her up. OSD truly believes this is teaching him a lesson, but the jokes on her we have had the best week, no one is stressed, no arguments, the other 2 kids YSD and BS are getting along magnificently.
SO also reinforced why I choose to be with him. While he was talking with one of the teachers about OSD, he threw her under the bus and told the teacher that he is sick and tired of her being disrespectful because she doesn't want to follow rules and he is disgusted by the way she talks to me.
On another note BM doesnt like that she is being called out by the teachers for her poor parenting. So in response she is playing the victim and throwing OSD under the bus. The reality is BM let's OSD do whatever she wants without consequence. She also will save her from having to follow rules here and PAS how we are the bad guys and mistreat OSD. But when confronted by another adult she will quickly point the finger at OSD. I dont feel sorry for OSD because she is old enough to understand and recognize this for herself but she still chooses to be with BM because of all the freedom she has there and zero responsibility.
Unfortunately, BM will probably be dropping her off here soon, because although she really doesn't care how OSD acts her BF does and when he has had enough of OSD he puts his foot down and BM drops her right back off. I'm curious to see what happens as SO has mentioned if this continues he is going to give BM custody because she should have to be forced to deal with OSDs behavior if she isnt going to support making her follow rules.
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"On another note BM doesnt
"On another note BM doesnt like that she is being called out by the teachers for her poor parenting. So in response she is playing the victim and throwing OSD under the bus. The reality is BM let's OSD do whatever she wants without consequence. She also will save her from having to follow rules here and PAS how we are the bad guys and mistreat OSD. But when confronted by another adult she will quickly point the finger at OSD. I dont feel sorry for OSD because she is old enough to understand and recognize this for herself but she still chooses to be with BM because of all the freedom she has there and zero responsibility."
OMG, this describes BM and my SS20's relationship through the years, to a T! You put it very well. If BM couldn't throw DH under the bus for SS's school issues, SS went right under the bus himself. And this still happens even now, and as you said, I don't feel sorry for SS because at 20, he's certainly old enough to be responsible for choosing to stay enmeshed with BM, who lets him live there without working or going to school at all.
I do feel bad for SO, as he
I do feel bad for SO, as he is crushed because all he ever wanted for OSD was for her to be successful in life and now he has given up hope and fears she will turn out like BM and her older 3 children. 2 never finished HS, 1 is a couch hopper and the other receives government assistance. Even the oldest of BMs 3 who could be successful chooses not to do to lack of ambition. Has a college degree and is happy to make minimum wage. I even offered to get him a job making good money with a lot of opportunities for advancement for someone right out of school, all he had to do was send me a resume. Nope, too much effort. He will just keep hitting dad up for money when he needs it.
I feel bad for my DH, too -
I feel bad for my DH, too - he is living exactly what your SO fears. BM's genes are much stronger in SS than DH's are. SS20 has zero life skills, never worked a day in his life. He's learned well how to manipulate though.
BM. Will teach her
To look good, how to be good in bed, and how to hook a man with a good job. Have a few kids. And let her DH support SD. TV watching day, If thing go well SD husband will support BM. Because BM needs money especially when CS ends.
There is no good reason for SD to do well in school. She will never work. So she doesn't need an education. She will not cook or clean, so doesn't need to learn that
Luckily, SO doesn't pay CS,
Luckily, SO doesn't pay CS, he has physical custody. even if that changes he still wont have to pay CS because he has custody of YSD. Unfortunately I am afraid you are right that she has zero ambition to be successful.
Welp, sounds like BM messed
Welp, sounds like BM messed the oldest kid up. *mosking* time to move on and focus on the youngsters
Before I threw my hands in
Before I threw my hands in the air and gave up, SO and I tried very hard to give her every opportunity in life. I hoped she would see how much better life could be and want that for herself. But, she kept gravitating back to the Jerry Springer show. She actually said to me once she idolized the "Cash me outside girl" and that idiot Vicky who is white and thinks she is really black. She says her goal is to be a "star" like them. My jaw dropped as to how clueless she is they are both only famous because everyone makes fun of them, it's not a good thing to be infamous.
This is one of those times I have to quote a good friend and accept the reality "No matter how hard you try, you can't turn a turd into a diamond".
Wow, shows how little her
Wow, shows how little her brain is and what poor mentality she has. I agree with above comments, BMs genes won this war...