Update.....unbelievable!
So after DH didn’t get to see SD for Father’s Day (see previous blog post), the plan was that DH would pick her up at 3:30 after he was done with camp.
DH calls me at 3:50, which I was assuming to tell me he was almost home, but that was not the case. He drove all the way across town to pick SD up only to take her to her Aunt’s house. (Aunt is really BM’s Aunt) DH told me that he got to see SD for a whole 5 minutes because BM forgot that plans were made with Aunt to go see a movie. Good grief!
It’s stuff like this that makes us wonder when we’ll actually have SD. We’re hesitant to include her in things because plans change so often. There were even two days in a row when DH drove across town to pick up SD from school, only to find out when he got there that SD made other plans. And of course she didn’t communicate with him and he just let her do it because he didn’t want to deal with her attitude. Where is the eye roll emoji when you need it?
- Trying to Stepmom's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Also
we had that kind of issue when SD was younger. For a period of time, BMs friends would invite SD to go do stuff like evenings out or sleepovers when it was DH’s parenting time. DH gently declined the offers because he was adamant to not be the “bad guy” from whom SD needed saving. He was going to spend his time with his daughter so he could try to bond with her. BMs friends could take her out on BMs time if it was so important.
I do not miss this type of
I do not miss this type of nonsense at all! Part of why I used to hate having SD over when she was young was because plans were always changing and anything BM related took precedence.
The first long stretch of alienation was when SO made plans to spend his birthday weekend with SD(12 or 13 at the time). BM made plans for her to hang out with her previous babysitter instead. She asked if she could come over for a few hours on Sunday instead (which probably would have been cancelled last minute) and SO said if like to see you but we have plans to go somewhere so don't worry about it I'll just see you another time. She was offended that he didn't cater to her schedule and didn't see him again for almost 2 years.
Yep, I don't miss this crap
Yep, I don't miss this crap either. Everything was about BM playing games with DH's time and making him look like the bad guy if he didn't go along. As hard as it was when SS was totally alienated, it was way better than dealing with this nonsense.
Oh yes, the BM in our case
Oh yes, the BM in our case was constantly playing the "changing schedule" game! She had the SKs in numerous rec league sports throughout the year, many which overlapped, and somehow in their universe, there was NEVER a schedule available until almost the END of the season! So many times, BM would say the SKs wouldn't know til Thursday or sometimes Friday if they had a game that Saturday. When I had my own DS and signed him up for his first sport, I was SHOCKED that we were given a schedule WELL BEFORE the season ever began!! My DH has always said the laws of physics cease to exist in BM's universe, and he's so right!
Don’t get me started with sports!
SD played almost every sport under the sun through her school. I resorted to finding the game schedule online but we rarely knew about practices. The coaches had group texts that we were never a part of because BM signed her up for them, never gave DH’s contact info, but then expected him to pay the fees.
Thanks everyone!
This sucks, but it’s reassuring that I’m not alone in this. I know it happens to other SM, but to actually get some feedback is nice.
Your DH needs to stop doing
Your DH needs to stop doing the transportation, BM can bring SD to him. What a waste of time, gas, and energy.
It really is!
Although when BM kept changing pick up times later and later one day, she finally said she’d just come pick SD up from our house. It might sound like a small victory, but don’t be fooled. BM was going to take SD to IKEA which is like 5 minutes from our house. So when it works to her advantage, she’ll do it. Jokes on her though, they were caught in awful rush hour/construction traffic which wouldn’t have happened if she just stuck to the original time.