Progress - maybe (I’m not getting my hopes up)
Just dropped SD13. The weekend wasn’t awful. Just typical skid junk. I say typical, but it needs to not be typical.
DH said she had a great time with him at the football game on Friday. She even told him not to let her sleep too late on Saturday. We were both shocked at this!
He managed to get her up on Saturday and we went for breakfast. Afterward she fell asleep on the couch. I thought it was ironic but I didn’t care too much. I was busy playing with DD and DH was busy doing housework (I love him so much for that!).
Then we needed to go and get shoes for SD to wear with her dress for her sister’s wedding. SD is so awkward in anything that is not sweatpants and tennis shoes. She seemed fine with the shoes and I even bought myself a pair!
After more shopping, DH took the girls with him to get his hair cut. I was able to do some grocery shopping and actually made dinner! With our schedules I don’t get to cook as much as I like.
I threw something together and it turned out pretty good. It was a struggle to get both girls to the dinner table though. DH was raving about the meal and all SD could say was that she didn’t like it. She actually put a plateful of pasta on her plate and then dumped it back in the pot - what?!? DH was shocked and I was not afraid to tell her that was disgusting and you don’t do that with food. She then sat down, grabbed the chicken , cut a piece and took the most amount of time possible to put it in her mouth. She chewed and then popped up, went to the fridge and said she needed BBQ sauce. Mind you, I made the chicken with Italian seasoning. I was trying to bite my tongue so hard! She might have heard my disgust. Sometimes I just can’t help it.
She then proceeded to turn in her chair so that her back was facing us. I tapped DH on the leg and he started asking her questions, which lead to her turning back around.
We then tried to have family movie night but a few minutes into the movie, she left the room and spent the rest of the movie in her sister’s room, rocking in the rocking chair and being on her phone. And I even made it a point for me not to be on my phone!
I spoke with DH last night and brought up the dinner convo where SD was talking about not getting along with some girls that she might be put in a group with. She spoke about not liking being around one girl and that she couldn’t stand to look at her face. I told DH that SD should just treat the girls the way she treats me (ignoring them, not looking at them). I was half joking but he said “yeah, I’ll tell her.” I asked for clarification because he agreed so quickly that I thought maybe he didn’t hear me and was falling asleep. Nope, he 100% agreed to what I said.
Fast forward to this morning. I feel kind of bad about bringing some of these things to DH’s attention, because he takes it personally. At least he realizes it’s his mistake (he actually used the word mistake for SD not doing some of these things for herself).
I was on my way to get ready and walked by the bathroom after SD got out of the shower. I was going to turn off the light (because she left it on) and I noticed the bathtub full of water. She did not take a bath, she took a shower. I told DH to take a look and he didn’t at first. The look on his face when he saw the tub was priceless - total shock! Of course he drained the tub but then did talk to SD about it. She claims she didn’t know how to fix it. A 13yo doesn’t know how to drain a bathtub?!? Arg!
Now we’re dropping her off and waiting for BM to get there. SD states she has basketball practice tomorrow but doesn’t know what time. Before that, DH and SD were standing outside the back of the car. I wondered if he was talking to her about our convo last night. Then BM shows up and DH is talking to her. SD pops her head in car and says “thanks so much for everything, especially the shoes because I really like them.” Uh, what? After so got over my initial shock I told her “you’re welcome.”
On our way home, I asked DH if he said anything to her and I told him what she said to me. He said he did not prompt her to say “thank you.” I asked him about what we talked about last night and he did say he told her and when he did she had a look on her face like a lightbulb went off. So maybe she put two and two together.
Progress? Maybe. Time will tell.