Kids dealing with separation
All has been fairly uneventful as of late hence no blogs! Trotting along just nicely and then SD has returned to school.
We're not 100% sure what's happened but we can gather a conversation at school has happened where kids have said they live with both parents and they see their daddy all the time. Cue tears to the point of wetting herself. She wants to know why she can't see her daddy all the time. Why he doesn't live with her.
Now I've tried to explain to OH that he needs to tell her some parents don't live together, that she comes to stay whenever daddy doesn't work (he now has a new job!) And that it can be a good thing not living with daddy as she gets 2 birthdays, 2 Christmas and treats when she stays.
All he can focus on is the guilt. That he needs to live closer. Baring in mind we live in the same town and 10 mins away in the car. He won't leave town for a better house or better chances of work because he'll be too far away.
I won't move. Flat out refusing. Call it selfish but 1- we can't afford to move 2- where we live is also bang right in the middle of everything shops, both our jobs, SD's house. Takes 10 mins to get anywhere in town. 3- where she lives is the s***hole part of town. 4- if we move there I'll have to drive him to work as he either cba getting public transport or never has the money for it.
He says if he lives closer she can come over whenever she wants. I say she can't because he'll be working. The reason she only stays 1/2 days a week is due to us both working. And they're not always sociable hours. His response is course she can. And he wants her to be able to. Be able to see him whenever she wants.
Eventually he wants to get a job where she can see him all the time. Then get full custody. I said I don't want to be the one going out to work all the time supporting them. I've even offered to walk away, let him be the single dad. I'm sick of being taken for granted, used and just expected to live like this.
I feel he never had any intention of having me in his life for good. Just wanted some one to help him get his daughter then toss me aside. I'm sick of having the same conversation time and time again.
He's irresponsible with money, can't look after himself, selfish, smokes weed, likes a good drink, there's no way he could be a full time dad. Not a chance in hell. But he seems to think he could do a better job than BM. Because he knows what she was like to live with 3/4 years ago he somehow knows everything and that SD is living in hell.
The school haven't expressed any concerns, SD doesn't ring in tears asking to come over, will go days without ringing him, seems perfectly happy where she is, albeit apart from whatevers gone on at school recently. I say why cause any problems when it's been working as it is. Just needs a conversation with her to explain the situation.