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So it’s come to an end

SoDisappointed's picture

It's time for me to be back on here, sadly, and share the end of what was. We all had been getting along better, mostly because I just didn't engage, or disagree with any of her kids. Things were going okay for about a year, as long as I kept quiet and didn't disagree with anyone. But I was noticing things were not going all the great and sensed my wife pulling away back around the first of this year. 

Then, at the end of May, her daughter quit her job, canceled her lease, and moved form Pittsburgh and into our house. I told my wife "Of course she can live with us until she gets a job and a place to live. It's what we do for our kids." I even helped her move all of stuff from Pittsburgh to Annapolis and put most of it in storage, with her personal stuff in our second bedroom. It seemed to be pretty smooth, but inside I was worried because her daughter can be very moody and has a general dislike of men, and of me particularly. Then Covid made her finding a job impossible. So just stayed here ALL THE TIME. On more than a few occasions she would eat by herself and then hybernate in her room. I asked my wife if she was okay and was told she just likes some alone time. Bull Shit! She was pissed at me for something, because she would spend a half hour "saying goodnight" to her mother. This was having a profound impact on our intamacy, and I don't mean just sex. I could feel my wife pulling away from me more each day. 

We had a vacation planned for everyone (my kids, her kids, and her sister and her kids). I was concerned for a number of reasons, but mainly because none of her family were taking Covid seriously and weren't social distancing. My kids decided to not go because my oldest just had a baby 2 months earlier, and didn't want to expose themselves or my grandson to anything. 

Well that made my kids the target of a lot of negative talk, and they all felt they should share that with me. By the third day at the beach, I was having a tough time with my kids not there, so kept to myself. The wife couldn't be bothered because all of her family was there, so I basically got shoved aside. I explained to everyone that I wasn't mad at anyone, just having a bad day because I was missing my kids. When I tried to talk to my wife, she was very defensive and started fighting with me. I tried to explain i wasn't mad at anyone and just missed my kids being there, she just became more upset. I went back to the house and contemplated my next move. An hour later my wife came in, mad as hell, and said everyone else was pissed at me. WTF?

Being an adult and knowing this group, I went to apologize if I somehow had offended anyone. Their response was GET THE FUCK OUT! WTF? The kids put up $0 for the trip, and I had paid over $7,000! And they are telling me to go? The wife did nothing, but did say it would be best for me to go. I was floored and hurt that she once more put her crazy ass kids ahead of our marriage. So I got in my car and left that crazy house and drove home. 

I sat in my house, alone, completely confused and decided this is not a marriage I can be in since she clearly puts no value in it. When she got home four days later she said she couldn't do this anymore. She got an apartment with her daughter and has moved out. She has moved all her stuff, and her daughter's crap out and left me with all the bills and the dog. She then canceled the homeowners policy and my car insurance without telling me.To top it off, she wants me to pay her back for all the money she put in to all the home improvements we made over the past three years. 

It's now been a month since she left. I asked to sit down and talk, but she didn't want to. She displays nothing but hate for me now. I'm sure her kids are fanning the flames because I have a Ring doorbell that caught her and her daughter leaving during one of their moving trips, and I can clearly hear her daughter bad mouthing me. Fine. Just go. Take the win. They got what they wanted - me out of their lives and an end to her mothers marriage.

I feel sad for my wife because she cannot stand up to her spoiled kids. I am sad the the marriage means nothing to her. I feel like it was inevitable, and I am ashamed I didn't accept that earlier. I try to live my life without regrets, but marrying her has to be my biggest regret of all because I saw this same behavior three months after we were engaged. And I believed her when she said it would be different after we were married. I should have called off the wedding at that time. 

Comments

JRI's picture

Im sorry, split-ups hurt badly and it doesn't sound like you were treated fairly or kindly.  You know what to do, right?  Take tomorrow to grieve some more and call a lawyer Tuesday.  I know you won't get over it emotionally for awhile but you might as well move forward to protect yourself.   Take care of yourself, eat well (I know that's hard), get some exercise, maybe schedule a check-up.  Good luck to you, you sound like a nice man.

Winterglow's picture

I am so glad you are finally out of that abusive marriage! Take the time to build up your self esteem, start planning your days out so you don't have so much down time to let negative ideas flood your brain, rejoice in your new found freedom!

Now, from a practical side, get yourself a pit bull lawyer and take your ex to the cleaners ... because she certainly did that to you over the years. Give not a penny but take back what you are owed (you spent 7000 of a vacation for her and her minions and were told to bugger off for your pains! NOT OK!).

Trust me, the dog will be better company than her and her miserable daughter. Look to the future, it has a lot to offer to those who look forward ...

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

I am so sorry. It sounds like you have been completely taken advantage of. I agree with the above posters. Get a great lawyer and cut ties with all of them. Go plan a trip to visit your kids and be around people who appreciate you.

CLove's picture

Take time to grieve, go no contact and focus on getting your ducks in a row for the BIG Divorce. Get thee to a lawyer if you havent yet.

She sounds like she is ready to take you to the cleaners...

Im so sorry!