You are here

Holiday without kids

Stressedstepparent17's picture

So myself and my OH are going away tomorrow for a long weekend break to center parcs with my family. They've paid. All we have to pay for is the petrol and our own drinks.

Now OH's mother, father, sister are all kicking off because we're going without his daughter. Are we bad for doing so? 

His mother called him a pig. 

We're planning on taking her away for a couple of days during October half term as with him losing his job last month and me working so much we haven't had the time or money to do anything before now. 

We just feel we shouldn't be being guilted into not going because of his daughter. She doesn't know any different, we've had her for a couple days extra before we go and will get her when we come back. She's not asked to come with us or even asked to come away with us at all as we never have done. 

Me and my OH haven't had a holiday either, the first holiday we have together will be with her. But no god forbid we have a weekend break paid for by my family for just me and him. 

Are we bad for not taking her? Or going at all because she can't? 

Should also mention my OH is actually on my side for a change!! He wants to go away and doesn't feel guilty. 


advice.only2's picture

So anytime MIL takes a vacation without her kids she should be called a pig as well.

susanm's picture

You are going as guests of your family.  Since when do guests get to invite people?  I can't imagine that his family would be OK with you inviting along a member of your family when they are the ones who are paying!  I am glad that your OH is not caving in to them.  That is incredibly rude.

Harry's picture

Nothing wrong with adult time,  if his mother and father are so upset they should take SD someplace this weekend.  They can paid for it They can have fun with SD.   I would disengage from IL after calling me a pig it would be all but over. With them

Monkeysee's picture

Your MIL is a meddling b*tch... it’s none of her business. Not to mention parents take holidays without their kids all the time. No one bats an eye when mommee & daddeee take a trip without the kids, so why should it be any different for you & DH?

justmakingthebest's picture


Not everything in the world revolves around the kids! You and your husband should take off without them- and often!! MIL sounds horrible. I am so sorry!

Stressedstepparent17's picture

So nice to know we're not in the wrong. Have always known his family are difficult and I blame them for the way my OH is at times. 

It's just so unfair and upsetting, we've had such a tough time lately and really need this break away and now I feel like I'm already getting worked up and should be excited but they've spoilt it. 

I'm just hoping and praying they don't get in my OHs head and he says he doesn't want to go now. Or god forbid, MIL tells daughter we're such horrible people going away without her .

Winterglow's picture

"Or god forbid, MIL tells daughter we're such horrible people going away without her ."

In the unfortunate event that she does, you calmly explain to your SD that you were invited for this weekend and that, as guests, you do not have the right to invite her. Just tell the truth.

hereiam's picture

This is absolutely not a big deal and everybody else needs to butt out.

OH's mother and father NEVER went anywhere without their kids? I find that hard to believe.

I remember Grandma coming to stay with me and my sisters so my parents could go to Vegas to see Engelbert Humperdinck. I couldn't have cared less.

Neither of you should feel guilty. Adults are allowed to do things without the kids.

You said she doesn't even know, anyway. If his family mentions it to his daughter, just to start something, I would be pissed.

ndc's picture

Of course you're not in the wrong.  Adults go on vacations without children.  Not every trip you take needs to involve your OH's child.  Not to mention that YOUR family is paying for this trip, so it's not up to you whom to invite.  And even if it was, I go back to adults can go on vacation without children.  His family should stay out of it, because it is none of their business.  As long as the child is cared for while you're gone, whether you go on vacation without her is none of their concern.  And really, outside the context of disgusting rooms and horrific table manners, what mother calls her son a pig?

Jcksjj's picture

Oh you have a MIL like mine. Sorry for that misfortune. Of course you can go without her. Just dont have MIL watch her ever for you while you go somewhere or you'll probably be subjected to constant texts from MIL about various dumb things regarding SD throughout the trip like my MIL did while we were on our honeymoon. God forbid SD is never not at the forefront of her father's mind. 

notarelative's picture

My parents went away for a weekend every year. We, kids, loved it because our fun aunt came to stay with us.

My first husband and I didn't go away every year, but we did some weekends and once went overseas for a week. 

It's healthy for a couple to get away and reconnect. OH needs to tell his family to back off. 

Siemprematahari's picture

Now OH's mother, father, sister are all kicking off because we're going without his daughter. Are we bad for doing so? 

H's mother, father and sister need to ALL get a freaking LIFE and stay the h@ll out of yours. Do not feel bad for taking a much needed vacation and time off. You deserve it and if they don't agree or like it they can go kick rocks. If they feel so strongly about SD not going than they should all get together and take her on a trip on their dime.....

Have fun and enjoy your time kid free!!!


Stressedstepparent17's picture

So now OH is backtracking and now feels guilty. Hates lying to his daughter. Wants to take her on holiday. Wants to take her abroad. Even though he has no money. And no chance of doing it. And now I'm the bad guy. Righto. All I wanted was a weekend away after working 6 days a week and extra hours over the school holidays, god forbid I want a kid free weekend!!!! (For those who don't know I work with kids with learning and physical disabilities so I look after kids all day long during the hols!) 

I make one comment about I don't feel comfortable taking her abroad until she's a bit older because she's very hyperactive at the moment (plus I wouldn't enjoy a holiday just the 3 of us with daughter and daddy time 24/7- I didn't tell him this tho) and jeeeeesus. It's like I called her the spawn of Satan. He took "offense" no one slags off his daughter. I'm starting to really hate this guy and every thing that comes with him.