ExH finally showed up (three weeks later) to complete his portion of ds12's ortho payment plan. He stuck around during the appointment and asked if we could speak after. (See earlier blog posts outlining what went down including my ultimately staying that is speak to him no further until an apology was issued).
He gave a sincere apology, seemed to be holding back tears as he confessed his shortcomings and his mistakes on how the situation got this far. He said that SM definitely overstepped but that was it what we were discussing and that was something she was working to remedy herself.
I took it as a very sincere apology. He understood that the way things had progressed had clearly crippled "our" relationship (our two families') relationship moving forward. I can also assume that he is very upset with an after he is finally aware of her behavior with the principal and her insults to me.
I did apologize for my agressive behavior in retaliation but also explained that I will always stand up for what is right for the children and will always stand up if something is wrong. He inderstood.
... Can't really see how or when I'll even be able to speak with sm, let alone acknowledge her moving forward after her behavior and her very poor attempt at an apology - especially after she insulted me.
As ExH said, this is a learning situation.