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Will I Ever Get over his X

Sonomama30's picture

Hello, I need your help. my fiace and i have been together for 3 years in august. we live together with my bd5 and his bs6. Its great, a lot of kinks have been almost worked out but i love having both kids all the time. my fiance's x left him on his birthday and left her son in the parking lot of outback for my fiance's birthday. they were together for 15 years and married for 5 of those years. Yes,, a long time. she cheated on him with a man and than was MIA for 3 months. SHe came back and my fiance helped her find an apt. THe x furnished the entire room except guess who's room??? YUP, her own son;s room, said she didnt have wnough money to get furnitiure for him. so guess who bought the furniture? YUP, my fiance. ( didnt know him then) SOooo,, since i came in the picture, after there divorce was legal and final, we really hit it off. I tried to be respectful of her and always be polite while i was around for the drop off and some pick ups. SHE HATES ME,, and i ate a lot the shit she would talk. well I"M FULL!!! she dosent do shit, comes around 1 weekend out of the month demanding we let her see her son. she dosent do ANYTHING, her job at H&M is wayyy to important. My blood actually boils when i see her or when i find out that my ss6 is going for his 1 night monthly sleepover. I can feel my face getting red. she isnt allowed at our home anymore, and she cant call my house anylonger. when she has my ss6 if there is a problem she can call my fiance's cell phone but that is it!! if she wants to arrange her monthly sleepover she has to call his job. and im fine with this.
This is only the beginning, i am aware of this. Our kids are still young. But shit, i dont want to live like this. My blood actually boils and i feel like sometimes my fiance will not demand her to do anything. she is trash and i just hate her so much that if i do NOT get a grip on my feelings toward her, i may actually wreck my future marriage. I love my fiance so much and i feel like my new blended family is working out great. I just dont know what to do when i see her. I catch myself staring at her at the 1 or 2 baseball games she attends and my blood pressure boils when i see her texting on her phone.. your there for your son b*tch!! watch him, f*ck your phone.. It makes me CRAZY!! i dont want to be like this, all it does it puts a wedge into our relationship. Please help me, what can i do THAT WORKS! I'm not leaving my family for this fetus holder.


BSgoinon's picture

I hate that feeling. When I can actually FEEL my blood pressure rising at the sound of her name. After 6 years of dealing with an entitled, worthless, waste of skin BM... I have learned to ignore her. It has been so hard. So very hard. I can't MAKE her be a good mom. I can't MAKE her get a job, go to SS's baseball games, buy him clothes that FIT for her house... I can't MAKE her be a mom that fits MY standards of a "good parent", so I can't stress myself about it.

Having her deal only with your DH is a great start. Next step, be like a duck, and let it roll off your back. Whatever "it" may be... let IT go! Unless she is putting kids in danger, then don't bother wasting your breath.

majka's picture

No advice, but sweety I do feel your pain. And I absolutly hate that feeling, it almost makes me sick. I do not have a great grasp on my emotions, and I always wear my hear on my sleeve, so its not healthy. Sad I want to get over it too... once you find out the way, let me know!